OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES A TROOPER BOB EPISODE

It was a warm summer afternoon. There were children playing in the sprinklers and dad’s pushing lawn mowers through the thick summer grass. Yes it was another time in another place. Trooper Bob left home that afternoon for his usual shift. He started out of town and decided instead of taking off for the open highway he would stay closer in towards town.

Now when I say closer towards town I’m not talking massive shopping malls and lots of strip centers. I am talking a bank, a post office, the Dairy Queen, an Ace Hardware and there might have been a Ben Franklin or a TG&Y. Yeah a booming metropolis. Trooper Bob stopped by the Dairy Queen and got a dipped cone rolled down his windows and got ready for a hot afternoon. He found a quiet place to park at the four way stop of two farm-to-market roads. He found a shade tree and settled in for the afternoon.

He sat and ate his ice cream and watched as Farmer Stevenson stopped his John Deer at the stop sign gave him a little wave and proceeded on to his next field to plow. He tipped his hat to old Widow Morris who could barely see over the steering wheel. She turned her left blinker on and turned right all he could see was the top of her little blue haired head driving off down the road. Next came Mr. Brewster the banker in his brand spanking new Cadillac Convertible off with the family for an afternoon drive. He slowed to a stop gave Trooper Bob a wave of his own dipped cone and with a smile was gone.

All in all it was a peaceful day and one that was just prime for a post dipped cone nap. Trooper Bob pulled his hat down over his eyes assumed the stretched out in the front seat position and had just started to nod off when he sensed a car coming up the road at an accelerated rate of speed. He sat up and pushed his hat back on his head. Then right there in front of him was a car unknown to him. It was a big old Buick and it was screaming up the road. It arrived at the four way stop and didn’t even slow down it just took the turn on two wheels and gunned the big motor through the turn.

Trooper Bob shook his head while he maneuvered his patrol car back onto the road. He flipped on his little cherry light and hit the siren (SIGH-REEN). WhaaaaaaahhhhhhWhaaaaahhh it screamed as Trooper Bob put his foot to the floor. He caught up with the Buick in no time flat. Trooper Bob saw the driver’s surprised look through the review mirror. The man signaled with his blinker that he was moving over and he slowed to a stop. Trooper Bob grabbed his ticket book, sat his hat more securely on his head and moved toward the vehicle. It was a gorgeous day. Trooper Bob had eaten a dipped cone and had a bit of a nap, he was feeling fine. He was feeling magnanimous. He had already decided to give this young man a break.

Trooper Bob walked up to the window and there sat a young father, a young mother and about a 5 year old boy. Trooper Bob greeted the young family then asked the father “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” The young man answered while taking the registration from his wallet “no sir.” Trooper Bob smiled and said “Well sir, you failed to stop at the four way stop sign and your speed was in excess of the legal limit.” The young man politely replied “I am terribly sorry officer. I didn’t see the stop sign and as for my speed I’m pretty sure I was going the speed limit.” When from the back seat the little boy cried “NUH-UH Dad! Mom said you were speeding but you said it didn’t matter cause they ain’t never any cops here. Then Mom hit you when you ran that stop sign back there and told you that you were either gonna kill us or get a ticket.” Trooper Bob smiled at the child and then looked at the father. The man turned as red as a beet and looked up at Trooper Bob and said “Well, I guess that is that. You might as well just give me the ticket.”

Trooper Bob smiled a big smile, chewed his double-mint gum and said “Out of the mouths of babes.” Gave the man his ticket and sent him on his way.