6:47 a.m. Someone found a brand new four-wheeler behind their garage in Evergreen. It was stolen from a nearby dealer.
Hey Maw! Come look Bigfoot done brought us a new 4 wheeler! Weehooo! I told you leaving out milk and cookies would get us something! He's just like Santa.
Maybe he needs to buy the bullets off the internet too.
Now Ernest, that there welp is mine. I know I have 42 other hound dawgs but I done caught old Duke over there locked up with your Daisy. So that-uns mine.
Were they Mike Tyson or Muhammad Ali? Float like a butterfly sting like a bee…
Evidently they didn’t realize it wasn’t the 3rd of June and it was not another hot and dusty Delta Day. (for you youngins out there go look up Ode to Billy Joe)
Um, he is TWENTY-EIGHT years old. What ever happened to breaking their plate when they turn 18? You don’t know what that is? When your child turns 18 you take them outside with their possessions give them a big hug and a kiss and $50.00 tell them to go forth find a job and prosper. Then you break their dinner plate. That signifies they must now feed themselves.
Maybe if he kept his paycheck in the bank he wouldn’t live on Poverty lane.
That’s mine! No it’s mine. Mine, mine, mine!
Um, buddy I don’t think your gonna get it back.
Well he couldn’t find his gun…
7:48 a.m. Four fishing poles were reported stolen in Bigfork.
What is that old saying feed a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life? Here is the addition teach a man to steal and he is a criminal for life.
9:14 a.m. Someone said they saw a mountain lion in their neighbor’s field on Janens Way in Columbia Falls.
Then don’t go in that field.
Hi, yeah I was bitten by a dog and I was wondering should I go get tested? What? Did he look sick? No but he did look like he had been gargling with hydrogen peroxide.
10:52 p.m. Someone reported a “miniature Pincher with a pink collar” missing at the Old Steel Bridge.
That poor pooch probably jumped because he was wearing an oh so masculine pink collar.
Hum, so I guess things are NOT all right on Beach Road.
4:42 am – A male was spotted relieving himself outside a Lakeside gas station. He left in a minivan before authorities could arrive.
He was finished why would he stick aaround. Hey Gilbert wanna stick around and see how long it takes my pee to dry?
Let me guess, he was 28 years old.
OK now it’s the owners turn to dangle from a leash.
I wonder if it was one of those wild Poodles of Boreno?
Oh I see dangling a pooch from a porch is okay but keep it contained so it doesn’t hurt itself is neglect?
So do you think they were using the propane tanks to hunt with?
Hey Dave, you go over there and place that propane tank next to that buck. Yeah sneak up on him real quiet like. Now hold my beer and watch this.
The power line or the tree?
Now who has an orange porch and if you did why would you leave your expensive chain saw on it?
I ain’t takin my shoes off. Jeff Gordon don’t have to take his shoes off in his own house.
Is this a case of it’s better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission?
I never realized that tree rustlin was such a big problem.
Is he going to frame the pictures and give them to their parents? I mean how dare kids ride their bikes!
Now see here is where on the show COPS they have the shirtless, toothless man in handcuffs after he has just beaten the crap out of his wife. She is standing there with two black eyes, a broken nose and several teeth missing in her tube top and red bra straps. She grabs the first police officer and cries “Please don’t hurt him. I lurv him. He didn’t mean to hit me. I just pissed him off cause I drank the last Bud lite.”
Isn’t that what horses do? Run amok?
Six of one half dozen of another.