Thursday, June 25, 2009

Teenaged Embarrassment for TMI THURSDAY

Once again it’s Too Much Information Thursday over at Live It Love It. While I don’t have a cat pooing on my paper plate story I do have a girly-bits problem story. Luckily this did not happen to me but to a friend of mine. No really it was a friend.

This was way back years ago, back in the dark ages. This occurred back when mothers would not let their daughter’s wear tampons until they were older because well it might take away their virginity. Now honestly what the heck? Back in those days if you were a young girl you were forced to wear a “pad” that was roughly the size of a 2 x 4 and twice as uncomfortable. With that being said I will tell you the sad tale of my friend Betsy.

Betsy had a crush on Fred. Fred was quite the ladies man. He always had several girlfriends going at one time. She secretly wished he would ask her to the all sports banquet. You see at their little high school prom was outlawed. The fact was ALL school dances were outlawed. Yeah, it was just like in the movie Footloose, it was a religious thing even though it was a public school.
Betsy was putting her Algebra book in her locker when he approached. Her heart skipped a beat as Fred leaned in and said “what are you doing next Friday night?” Betsy stammered and stuttered and replied “nothing.” Fred smiled his charming smile and said “well now you’re going to the banquet, with me.” Betsy stood mouth open wide eyed and finally forced out “ok”. Fred smiled and then disappeared into the throng of pimple faced high schoolers.

Betsy was beside herself as she scurried to her next class. She grabbed her friend Darla and said “Fred asked me to the sports banquet. What am I going to wear?” Darla squealed and said “Oh my gosh, I’m so excited for you! Let’s go to Aunt Betty’s Rags after school.” By the end of the school day Betsy’s whole posse had learned of her date and had all agreed to help her pick out a suitable outfit. Now I have to break here and tell you that the most coveted dress for such functions was from a company named Gunny Sacks. Their dresses were romantic, gauzy creations that whispered of renaissance beauty. Betsy and her friends tried on every dress in the crowed little boutique. They didn’t discriminate in size they just tried on the ones that appealed to them. Finally they settled on a very pale yellow Gunny Sax dress made from cotton gauze with mutton sleeves and white lace trim.
It was gorgeous. The girls already had her hair and her accessories figured out.
Finally the day of the banquet arrived and they all converged at Betsy’s house to help her prepare. Constance and Kyla were also attending the banquet so it worked out perfectly. They fussed over one another and made the necessary adjustments. They each took a final spin in the mirror to make sure there were no tags or loose threads then went downstairs to await their dates. What they didn’t check was the transparency of their dresses and their menses cycles.
Fred and his buddies showed up to retrieve their lovely dates. They squeezed into the Datsun B210 and sped away to the local country club for the banquet. They arrived in plenty of time for the awards presentation and listened intently as the local college’s football coach gave his inspiration speech. It was just about time for the dinner to be served when Betsy felt something a little strange. She leaned over and whispered to Constance “I need to visit the ladies room, will you come with me?” We all know that girls and women can not attend the ladies room alone they must take a friend. The girls made their excuses to their dates and headed towards the powder room.

Betsy stood first with Constance following. She heard Constance gasp. She turned toward Constance half expecting to see her friend on the floor after tripping over her long dress or something else that would be equally horribly embarrassing. She saw her friend standing there terror struck. Connie ran toward Betsy turned her around and firmly planted herself behind Betsy. Then she leaned in and whispered in her ear. Just walk with me like this. Betsy tried to turn and face her friend but was in a bear hug and couldn’t budge. “WHAT? Why are you doing this? You’re freakin me out” Betsy cried. Connie continued to walk Betsy toward the restroom whispering in her ear “trust me just do what I tell you to do!”
They arrived safely in the restroom and Connie let Betsy go. Connie grabbed her by the shoulders and asked “Betsy, are you on your period?” Betsy turned beat red and said “yeah, why?” Connie hugged her friend and said “I think your pad slipped. The back of your dress in covered in blood.” Now for you guys out there you have no idea how devastating this is. Not only is mortifying because now EVERYONE was aware that you are on your period but it is also gross. I mean look what happened to Cissy Spacek in the movie Carrie. It is even worse when you are sixteen and everything is more dramatic than it should be.
Betsy couldn’t go back out there. She couldn’t face all those people who had seen her pale yellow gauzy dress that was now a bloody mess. She was devastated. She looked at her friend with tears in her eyes and said “go call my mom to come get me. I’m going to stay in here.” Her friend did as she was asked and finally Betsy’s mom showed up. Connie again put her friend in a reverse bear hug and walked her out the door. She helped her into the car then crawled in the back seat. Betsy looked at her friend and said “no! You need to stay. Go back in and enjoy the rest of the banquet.” Connie just patted her friend’s shoulder and said “nope. I’m staying with you.”

I would love to tell you that was the last of the situation. Unfortunately kids are cruel. The incident was not forgotten and from then on Betsy was known as Bloody Betsy. The upside was she knew who her true friends were.

9 comments:

Stephanie said...

I remember in junior high school wearing a white skirt on picture day. Yeah....bad idea.

Shawna said...

White dress. 8th grade. Washington D.C. trip. I spent about 1/2 an hour trying to figure out where the hell a tampon went in and how.

Upside is I got to flirt with the cute blond on the way back and forth from the restroom and I got to make my male principal feel uncomfortable and guilty for getting angry at me :)

"I'm having a GIRL PROBLEM"

Shawna's Study Abroad

Girly Stuff said...

How awful and sad. I lost one at the beach. Had no idea they puffed up like a diaper. Ha.

Why do we have to have such humiliating moments to learn from?

terri said...

That poor girl. I never had any major disasters but did have some close calls. Damn periods!

Mrs4444 said...

How HORRIBLE!! Wow.

Gladys said...

Steph - I think we all had one of "those" incidents. This one just stood out as a horror story in the making.

Shawna - why to this day I do not wear white

Girly Stuff - Oh how horrible! But i did snicker a little

Terri - the movie Carrie came out after this incident. Let's just say Betsy didn't make it through the movie unscathed.

Mrs. 4's - being a girl isn't for the weak of heart.

VE said...

The Datsun B210 was her true friend? I might need to read this again...

Coffee with Cathy said...

I had a Gunne Sax dress exactly that photo that to wear to our band banquet -- no dances for us, either. Thanks for the memories!

Gladys said...

VE - Can you think of a truer friend? Well maybe a Toyota Celica.

Cathy - I think I had one too but mine was pink and was more Juliet styled than Victorian.