There are a million stories in the city.Dum-dah-dum…dum-dah-de-dum-de-dum.
"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.")
The Flathead Beacon:
Police Blotter for the week ending 8-11-09
A sampling of crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County Sheriff’s reports…by Julius Macker (comments by Gladys)
I’m sorry I couldn’t get past Klondyke. All I could hear in my head was “what would you do for a Klondyke bar?”
Well we know it didn’t have any moss on it. (That one is for you Trooper Bob)
Heck who do you think scattered it?
Ok did anyone else read this and think about the old blond joke?
Police go to a call of a locked vehcile. Blond is sitting inside her car looking frantic and trying to get out. The police officer peers over the window into the open convertible top and says “What seems to be the problem miss?"
The blond replies “can’t you see? I’m locked in my car and can’t get out!”
Okay who farted?
Isn’t that what goats do?
I see Tyrone is loose again. (Really people go Netflix or Hulu or Youtube the old Laugh-In shows, you’ll laugh til you snort)
Johnny Cash came back as a cow?
Sounds like a psychodelic concoction to me.
Mom: Go on out and play in the Micky “D”’s playground Junior.
Micky D’s Employee: Ma’am we don’t have a playground.
I guess that is why he clobbered her.
Now does anyone else see Chevy Chase and the mailman from “Funny Farm” Here?
Once again how dare kids do kid things! Unheard of.
Better the dog than a burly bear.
Rip him off of what? Was he like that kid in a Christmas Story? Did he get stuck to the flag pole and they had to rip him off?
A bomb? Why was he making a bomb?
First what the heck were they doing walking through the cemetery at 1:40 in the A.M. That is dark-thirty. It is right after the bewitching hour? Were they asking for a zombie attack or what? Wait! That is what the bear was doing. He was pounding a zombie back in it’s grave. Those Bears are Brave!
Joe Friday Quote of the week:
Do you have real adventure in your soul? You better have, because you're gonna do time in a prowl car. Oh, it's going to be a thrill a minute when you get an unknown-trouble call and hit a backyard at two in the morning, never knowing who you'll meet-- a kid with a knife, a pill-head with a gun, or two ex-cons with nothing to lose.