There are a million stories in the city.
"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
The Flathead Beacon:
Police Blotter for the week ending 10-19-09
A sampling of crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County Sheriff’s reports…by Heather Jurvis (comments by Gladys)
7:15 a.m. A resident of Martin City reports that a large bear has been wandering in and out of her yard.
Maybe he was looking for a nice pick-a-nick basket.
10:56 a.m. Authorities helped a “man down” in Whitefish return to his feet.
Uh-Oh invisible bears. Those are the worst kind.
4:44 p.m. Someone in Coram reports that a mountain lion has been prowling about the area.
For some reason I just keep hearing “lions, tigers and bears…oh my!”
8:46 a.m. A resident of Shadow Lane complains that her husband forged her signature to sell a vehicle.
What evil lurks in the heart of men? Those on Shadow Lane know….
Yeehaw…let’s get them dawggies.
Of course they were, the Montana Highway patrol had already been there… they always get their cow.
2:15 p.m. A resident of Kila Road called to report that a deer had died in the area at approximately 7:30 a.m.
I think someone has been watching too much CSI.
2:23 p.m. Someone spotted a loose goat trotting down the north side of Highway 2. It is unknown whether the goat returned home.
Was it in panties? You know a Nannie Goat in Panties?
7:03 a.m. A driver slid through a red light on Highway 2 East, nearly colliding with two other vehicles. The driver was not intoxicated but had merely hit a slick spot.
Well he wasn’t intoxicated then but I bet he was afterward.
9:32 a.m. Two nights ago, someone on Badrock Drive saw several people with flashlights in their backyard.
10:08 p.m. Someone on Eagle Drive became upset when his mother-in-law kicked him out of the house. He reported her actions as harassment.
Sounds like he doesn’t have much right to be upset. Sounds to me it was her house.