"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.")
The Flathead Beacon:
Police Blotter for the week ending 9-29-09
A sampling of crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County Sheriff’s reports…by Heather Jurva (comments by Gladys)
10:33 a.m. Fish and Game contained a muskrat running wild on the Justice Center lawn.
Maybe it was just a case of Muskrat Love.
2:35 p.m. Someone evidently climbed the bell tower at a Columbia Falls school and cut the rope that held the bell. This perturbed school employees, who could no longer ring said bell.
Hey I think I know him. Was he yelling “Sanctuary, Sanctuary?”
Was his name Ralphie? Was it a Red Ryder? Was he shooting at Black Bart?
Seriously? Did he order room service too?
That lends a whole new use to those Life Alert bracelets. “Help I’m drunk and I can’t get UP.”
Ok are they calling because this kid is out at 1:44 in the A.M.? Or because he is riding down the Middle of Highway 2? Just so you know there is no traffic on Highway 2 at 1:44 in the A.M.
He thinks they were grizzlies, maybe it was Bigfoot.
It was Bigfoot. You’d make loud noises too if someone shot you.