Friday, October 29, 2010

Gladys Has Recyled Random Thoughts

I haven’t done this in a while but I thought I would join in the fun this week. I have been really busy but always try to catch up with Mrs. G’s over at Half Past Kissing Time. Every week she does Friday Fragments where you can go and post things that aren’t long enough to be a full fledged blog post but you still want to share. I have lots and lots to share but I will try to be brief. Okay maybe not brief but I’ll try to keep it short. You have no idea how difficult that is for me to do. You see I am a detail person; which in my case, means I can’t tell a story unless I give every detail. I can’t just say “I went to the store”. I have to say “I went to the store over on 4th street; you know the one with the big pumpkins outside and the little flower shop on the corner? Oh and I took the long way over there and saw a clown driving a Hummer. …” you get the idea. See I already did it just trying to tell you about Friday Fragments and why I can’t keep it short. So without further adieu here are my fragments and please make sure to go over to Half Past Kissing Time and hook up with the other Friday Fragmenters.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The other day I got a call from my niece, Tooter. She said she had something for me. Well this is what she made me. Aren’t they gorgeous? Oh and they were delicious too.


SCREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM

I was at the Squal*Mart the other day and the lady checking me out was unusually surly. I know they are usually surly but she was even more surly than normal. She was griping and kvetching about the fact there were 56 bazillion people in line and only 4 check stands open. I looked around and asked “So you’re having a pretty bad day, uh?” She glared at me and replied “Yeah.” I leaned over to sign my credit authorization and said “maybe you should just quit. I mean you seem really unhappy. Maybe the best thing for you to do is just quit.” She sucked in air and then spit out “but I NEED this job.” I smiled and replied “then maybe you should just be happy you have a job and not kvetch about how bad it is.” Needless to say I don’t think I improved her mood.


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I love vintage clothing. I guess I have always worn vintage clothing except when I was a kid we didn’t call it that. We called it hand –me-downs.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Last weekend there was an estate sale for a millionaire. She had recently passed away and her family was selling off her stuff. Now first of all let me tell you they started this sale on Thursday, I showed up on Saturday. The warehouse was stuffed full. I began looking through her accumulation of 80 years of books, napkins, letters, jewelry, clothes and shoes. This woman never threw a thing away. It was amazing. It was like looking through her windows and seeing her play out the movie of her life. It was deeply moving.

Then I found her shoes. Oh MY GAWD! The SHOES! There were hundreds of pairs of shoes. They were in plastic containers and covered 40 years of her life. Shoes that were specific to outfits. OH MY GAWD the OUTFITS! Everything was stylish and matched. I was in bliss. I wanted to throw the clothes and the shoes on the floor and just roll in them.


I heard a choir of angels sing and a bright light appeared above one particular pair of shoes. I slowly walked over and there on the shelf was a pair of 1960’s Salvadore Farragamo reptile skin pumps. My breath caught in my chest, everything else in the room went blurry as I reached out to touch the holy grail of shoes. Then from out of no where a hand reached out and snatched them from the shelf. I fell to my knees and screamed “NOOOOOO!!!!!! I wasn’t done petting them.” Then just as the little boy in the final scenes of the movie Shane I screamed out “Come BACKKK!” sniffle, sniffle “PLEASE COME BACK!!!!!”


RRRRRIIIIIBBBBBBIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I went to a “Green” conference last week also. No it wasn’t a conference about Kermit The Frog, which brings me to question who gives their child the middle name of THE? I digress.

I think it’s interesting that architects and builders are touting things as “green” and sustainable when our grandparents called it being thrifty. I mean honestly when I was a kid I thought that we reused foil because we were thrifty who knew I was being green?

Oh and did you know transom windows are now considered green and living above where you work is green? I guess that proves the point everything old is new again.



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Now as usual remember, Thoughts become things. Think good ones.




I also want to share this little tid-bit with you. Remember people aren’t your perception of them; they are their perception of them.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Uncle Sam's Plantation - A Book Review

First let me say that I am usually funnier than this but there are some things going on today that just aren't very funny.  I mean they are funny but they aren't ha ha funny.  You may or may not agree with my politics or dogma but I think we all agree that this country is broken and we need to do something different. 

I was recently sent “Uncle Sam’s Plantation” written by Star Parker and published by Thomas Nelson. I received this book and read what I already felt was true. She, Ms. Parker, drills down to the core the reality of the Welfare system and the prisoners it keeps.



Ms. Parker tells her story of being brought up in the strife of the civil rights movement. She relates how she was raised by hard working upstanding citizens but believed the lies that she was told. She believed she was owed something. She believed she could not succeed because she had been told she would not be allowed to succeed. She believed the blathering and blithering of uninformed politicians and social reformers who told her that she did not need to work, Uncle Sam would provide. She believed the lies and lived their life on Uncle Sam’s Plantation.

She had an epiphany while sitting in church one day when she felt the pastor spoke directly to her and asked “why are you living on welfare?” It was as if the sky opened up and she finally saw the light. Why was she living on welfare? Why was she not providing for her and her child? She could only answer “because I was told I would be taken care of.”

She saw what the welfare system had done to her and how it had kept her from achieving her highest potential. She broke free of the shackles and began preaching it from the rooftops. She became president and founder of the Coalition of Urban Renewal and Education (CURE) and self-proclaimed "former welfare queen."

Ms. Parker explains how the moral downfall of our modern society has taken its toll on the advances minorities had made through the years. It looks as if its one step forward and ten steps back. She admonishes us for not parenting our children, not sticking to promises and most of all trying to raise our children without two parents. I wish I could disagree with her, but I can’t. You see I have said for many years now that the downfall in our society happened when women burned their bras and men stopped wearing hats. We forgot what a family was supposed to be and became egocentric and selfish.

Ms. Star did a great job keeping not only my attention but making me re-think my opinions on many of our social and political programs. This is not a book to take lightly but read between the lines. It is not just about one race or the other; or one political party or the other, it is a book about our society and where we have gone wrong and what we can do to fix it.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”



Sunday, October 17, 2010

Gladys Was a Knotty Girl

This week’s Theme Thursday is Knot. Now I have stories about lots of stuff. I have a story for just about everything. Yes I even have a knot story. It’s not that I have been everywhere and done everything it’s just that things happen to me or around me. Now I went on over to Theme Thursday at took a look at what my fellow Themed Thursday-ers have done and boy am I off on a different path. Heck I don’t even think I’m in the same neck of the woods. What with Jeffscape off tying people to trees and Rinkly Rhymes speaking of love knots not to mention Notae speaking to the dead, my story seems out of place. Does that get my knickers in a knot? Of course not. I present it for you anyway, then go on over and read the rest of the knotty crew at Theme Thursday.


“Throw me the rope” Button yelled. Gladys coiled the rope and threw it in the general direction of the voice. “NOT THE WHOLE ROPE!” the voice yelled back. Gladys leaned over the side of the cliff and looked down. “Oh, sorry! Can you throw it back up here” she asked.

The end of the rope struck her foot and she reached down to grab it. “Ok, now I want you to tie the end of the rope to that mesquite tree. Tie it up good so it will hold the weight. Can you do that?” Button yelled from the bottom of the crevice. Gladys took the rope and wrapped it around the trunk of the scrawny mesquite tree. She made a loop and then stuck the end through and pulled tight. It looked pretty solid. She walked back to the ledge and yelled down “OK. I wrapped it around and made a knot.”
Picture from betterhardwoods.com

Button looked up as he looped the other end of the rope around his waist. “Okay, make sure that knot is tight. Gladys nodded and ran back up to the tree. How in the world had they gotten into this situation? They had been out riding in the back pasture having a perfectly lovely afternoon when the next thing she knew she was trying to help a 200 pound rodeo clown climb the side of a red clay hill.

She felt a little responsible. She probably shouldn’t have screamed like a banshee because she thought she saw a rattlesnake. It looked like a snake. How could she know it was a craggily branch that looked like a snake? How could she have known that Button’s horse was skittish about women shrieking out “snake”? She never even imagined that Blue would throw his master right over the side of the dry creek bed bank and run off like his tail was on fire? She had no idea.

These thoughts were running through her head like water through a sieve as she watched Button trying to pull himself up the steep bank. She watched as his boots caught then slipped. She saw the rope taut one minute then slack the next. She saw her boyfriend halfway up the sheer one moment and laying on his back in the dry creek the next.

“Glaaaadisssss!!!!” came the cry. She leaned over the side and starred down in horror seeing the big cowboy lying in the dust.

“Button? Are you awright” she asked with true concern.

“What kind of knot did you tie” Button asked brushing and dusting and spitting out his tobacco.

“The only kind of knot I know” she answered.

He shook his head and sat his hat back on his head looking at the rope in his hand “Do you know how to tie anything other than a SLIP KNOT?”.

“Nope. I never got my knot tying badge in Girl Scouts” she replied.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Game of Life

This week’s Theme Thursday, oh shut up I know it’s Tuesday, is GAME. Now several years ago Michael Douglas and Sean Penn came out with a movie called The Game. Have you seen it? It was a very interesting movie that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. It has a lot of twist and turns. I love movies like that and I love Michael Douglas, bless his heart. Isn’t it horrible that he has cancer? He seems to be attacking it with gusto and lots of positive energy. I hope everything works out for the best for him. Sorry, I got a little side-tracked. Nope this week’s post isn’t about Michael Douglas or his 1997 movie The Game. It is however about a game I used to play. So without further blathering here is my post on Game. When you have finished you can then go on over to Themed Thursday and read what the rest of the group has to say.



Gladys reached for the telephone as it rang for the third time. “Are you ready? I have a thermos of hot chocolate and the others are ready” she said to the voice on the other end of the line. “Yep, let me get my coat, when will you be here?” Gladys grabbed her gloves and her hat and headed for the driveway. She climbed into her little orange Vega and turned on the radio. It wasn’t just a radio it was a C.B. radio. It crackled and popped and voices started breaking through here and there. Lights appeared in her rearview mirror and flashed twice. Gladys picked up the microphone “breaker one nine, breaker one nine this is Heebeegeebee, how bout you Horsecandy you out there?” The radio squealed and squalled and a voice replied “that’s a big ten-four Heebeegeebee. You ready to head to the starting gate?” Gladys felt a little bit of a thrill and replied “that’s a big ten-four. I gotta stop and pick up Flygirl first. I’ll see ya there.” The radio crackled and the lights flashed again in her mirror as the car pulled away from the curb and headed down the street “ten four lil’ buddy.”

Gladys pushed the eight tract tape into the player and Barbara Mandrel started telling her about sleeping single in a double bed. She cruised the winter night looking at the beginnings of Christmas lights and loving the crispness of the evening. She pulled up in front of the house and honked the horn. A petite curly headed blond bounced out of the house and jumped into the shotgun seat. “Hey, where we meeting” she asked. Gladys turned down the radio and said “at Fair Park, by the monkey house.” Flygirl nodded and settled in taking the microphone in her hand and keying in “breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine Horsecandy you got a copy?” The radio clicked and replied “I gotcha Flygirl, what’s your 20?” Flygirl cleared her throat and replied “we are on our way we’ll see you in a few.” The two girls chatted and laughed as they cruised through the lit streets.

Gladys pulled into the parking lot and flashed her lights. She was met with a dozen pair of headlights flashing in reply. She eased her little hatchback into a slot next to the little maroon Subaru. There were a few people milling about drinking coffee and hot chocolate from thermoses and paper cups. Gladys and Flygirl joined them in anticipation. There were murmurings and speculations of what the night’s mission would be.

There was a crackling and a squeal at the front of the pack over the P.A. system attached to the leader’s radio. The crowd froze as out from the night came the instructions. “Everyone get a piece of paper from the table. On it will be your mission. You must follow it to the letter or you will be disqualified. You will either be a Hunter the Game. It will be stated at the top of the page. If you are the Game you will have exactly thirty minutes to get into position. Hunters, you will call in every 5 minutes and give your 20. Should you find the Game you must first give your call name and then the name of the GAME. You must then beat the Game back to base or your find will be null and the game will start over with a new Target. Now everyone get into place and let the GAME begin.” There was a crackle and a pop signaling the crowd to attack the table and get their assignments.

Flygirl grabbed the paper and whistled low. Gladys looked in question as Flygirl entered the car. “Looks like we are gonna be hunted.” Gladys blew out a long breath “okay, I scouted out some good hiding spots this afternoon. Let’s pull out and we will just act like we are gonna be huntin.” The cars began fanning out in different directions, one by one clicking on the radio and giving call name. “Possum headin out”, “Sweet Pea on the road”, “Horsecandy is making like a tree and leafing”, “Catfish saying see ya round like a doughnut” and on and on until each team had reported in.

Gladys and Flygirl sped in the direction of the M-system store constantly looking in their mirrors for followers. They circled the shopping center then crept down the side streets until they had doubled back around town to the backside of Fair Park. Flygirl constantly watching the clock and reporting in “Flygirl and Heebeegeebee checking in” she would repeat after keying the mic. Gladys turned her headlights off as she crept behind the stadium and past the bleachers. She eased the little car into a spot just under the home-teams bleachers next and turned off the motor. “I don’t think they will find us here” Gladys said as she poured herself a cup of cocoa. Flygirl looked around “Can they see us from Barrow Street?” Gladys took a sip “I don’t think so. I couldn’t see anything when I drove by this afternoon. There was a cop sitting here and I didn’t see him until the sun hit his bumper.”

Gladys and Flygirl sat and waited calling in and listening for others to do the same. They sat for an hour and listened to the chatter on the radio laughing to themselves about what a great hiding spot they had found. They sat while the chatter got thinner and thinner and the two girls fell asleep. “Gladys, it’s midnight! I’m gonna be grounded! We gotta go home!” Flygirl cried as she jerked awake. Gladys started the engine and put the gas pedal to the metal. They flew past the high school and sped up the deserted streets. They skidded around corners and barely stopped at stop signs. “Hurry Gladys! My dad will KILL ME!”

Gladys was worried about Flygirl but she was more worried about Nurse Meme beating her home from work. Flygirl might get grounded for a week, but Nurse Meme was known for grounding you for life! They skidded to a stop in front of Flygirl’s house as she launched herself from the vehicle and ran up the sidewalk; Gladys didn’t wait for her to get in the house. She hit the intersection at break-neck speed as her tires spun around the corner. She slowed and turned off her lights and coasted into her driveway. She shucked her coat and gloves and deposited them in the passenger seat. She looked in the garage for signs of Nurse Meme’s car and was relieved to see it empty. She ran in the house and headed straight for the bathroom. She changed into her pajamas and ran and jumped into bed just as she heard the backdoor open then close and the smell of White Shoulders, Aqua-net and Virginia Slims wafted into her room. She had beat Nurse Meme home and had once again avoided prosecution.

“GLADYS! GLADYS! What in the hell have you been doing all evening? The floors haven’t been vacuumed and there are dirty dishes in the dishwasher” Nurse Meme exclaimed as she stood silhouetted in the doorway. Gladys innocently sat up and sleepily said “sorry Momma, we got to playing games and I forgot.” That is when it hit her. She was still playing the game. They had not checked out or been found. She was still being hunted. She was still the target.

To this day, Gladys is still part of the game. She has not been found. Well at least not by the C.B. Hide and Seek Club.