Gladys Has Dreamy Random Thoughts

Not only is it Friday again and time for Mrs. 4444 to present her Friday Fragments.

Which by the way I was one of her favorite fragmenters last week.  Go on go over read her fragments, link yours and have a big old fragmented party.

Then go on over to Ann Again and Again for your weekly Virtual Girls Night Out. Have a drink, even if it’s just water, read some stories and partake in her game. Also link your Friday to her Friday.

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I had a blogger dream this week. What is a blogger dream you ask? Was I blogging in my dream? Was I being blogged about? No I dreamed that I was invited to a party at June Garden’s at Bye Bye Pie’s house. First of all there is a logistics problem. She leaves on the east coast, I live on the west coast and I’ll be in Scotland afore ye. Anyway I went to a party at her house. I think it was a baby shower but I’m not sure. One of the games we played was you had to glue false eyelashes on each other. She glued mine on my boobs. Um, thanks for the fun June!

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I had another dream this week that was disturbing. I was lost on a rocky hillside. It was cold and all I had on was a pair of shorts, a tank top and a scarf on my head. The wind was blowing really hard when all of a sudden it blew the scarf from my head. I was bald. Then from nowhere my mother, Nurse Meme, dressed in her starched white nurses uniform with her blue cape and nurses cap on her head came up to me. She made me sit behind a rock and told me she would be back for me. Do you think she was trying to put me back where they found me? (Go read Found Under A Rock)

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As you know from my post last week my sister from another mother, Chatty Cathy, had a heart cath this week. I am happy to report that they rotor-rootered her arteries and installed some stints and she is doing great.   So where the hell is my red princess phone?
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Have you ever noticed no matter how much you pack for a trip you always forget something or need something you didn’t bring?

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Overheard this week came when I was shopping at my local big box store.

Woman to husband: Oh Honey LOOK! They have their Christmas decorations out!

Husband: Didn’t we just celebrate Halloween?

Wife: Yes, but now it’s time for Christmas.

Husband: What happened to Thanksgiving?

Wife: Well you don’t put out as many Thanksgiving decorations.

Husband: What you mean there are no giant turkeys full of air to put on the front lawn?

Wife: No, not unless your planning on sitting out there.

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You know what I hate? When you are in a crowded parking lot and you finally find your car, only your key doesn’t work. Then you realize it’s not your car.

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Also and too Otin over at The Wizard of Otin hosts Happy Hour Friday. Go on over check out what makes him happy and link yourself up. Now here is what makes me happy.

Good Resturants

Shopping for just the right gift

Babies

All Generations together

Sunsets in new places

Now go on and be good to one another and remember thoughts become things, think good ones.

Castles in The Sky

Today is Themed Thursday, it is also TMI Thursday over at LivitLuvit.



 I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. Not that I could hit a bird with a stone. Heck I can’t even skip rocks. My brother Buck tried and tried to teach me but I could never get the hang of it. I think it had to do with the fact that I liked round rocks, after all the one I was found under was round. I digress. The Theme is Castles. Now I have not done this before so bear with me. Or is it bare with me? Well which ever one it is I’m going to try this out.


Gladys had always wanted to visit a real life castle. She had read about them in bosom heaving bodice ripping romance novels. She had seen them in Disney movies and had watched Camelot a million times imagining what life would be like in a castle. So when she found herself in Germany she was thrilled. Here was her chance to tour her dream home. She imagined herself as queen being attended to by her ladies in waiting. Does anyone know what they were waiting for? She would have worn crowns studded with emeralds and rubies; gowns made of the finest silk and would have been loved and feared. Yes Gladys lived in a fantasy world.

Gladys’ companion wasn’t as thrilled with castles as she in fact he wasn’t thrilled with anything. She pleaded and begged until he finally acquiesced to touring an ancient castle ruin along the Rhine. Tadpole and Gladys were thrilled. They awoke early and donned hiking shoes and warm clothes. The trio set out in a steady mist and drove to the Castle that sat ominous upon a ridge over looking the river. They walked through the gift shop, procured candles and purchased passes to tour the rest of the bastion. Gladys wanted to see every nook and every cranny of the fortress. They walked upon the remaining buttresses and wound through tunnels leading from chamber to chamber. They stood on the crumbling towers and viewed the spectacular view of the Rhine and the opposing castle across the river.

Gladys and Tadpole left their companion to explore more on their own. They walked into open areas that once housed great halls. They read the map and determined where the kitchens were in relation to the ballrooms. They trekked up crumbling masonry steps and descended into underground chambers. The last stop was the dungeon. The map warned that many of the tunnel like hallways ended in a wall to deter invaders from capturing the castle. They would think they had found an entrance and would be trapped when they hit the wall at the end of a long corridor. The defending army would trap them and kill them.

The unsuspecting duo started down one such corridor which became narrower the farther in they went. It was dark and their candles only lit the area right in front of them. Then Tadpole’s candle went out. Gladys took the lead and fighting her rising claustrophobia edged further into the opening. Her mind wandered to stories she had read of kings ordering people who had disobeyed them walled into such anterooms. She began to get short of breath and anxiety set in. What if there were an earthquake and they were trapped in this hole? What if some evil clown or zombie stacked rocks at the opening so they couldn’t exit. What if she had a heart attack and Tadpole couldn’t drag her out? Her mind raced through these fears and trepidations. She began to panic and started to turn around. Tadpole was holding her hand squeezing hard letting Gladys know that she was not alone in her panic.

Then it happened she felt someone grab her from the other side. She couldn’t scream. She couldn’t breath. She couldn’t run. She was frozen in place with a cold hand on her arm and then she heard Tadpole scream. That was it. Her bladder did what bladders are wont to do in such situations as evidenced by the episode in the corn maze. It released its hold and evacuated its contents. Tadpole grabbed tighter to Gladys’ hand and began pulling her from the dark dank hole. “Can you help me out of here?” they heard a voice ask in the dark. The hold from the other side tightened on Gladys’ other arm and she finally found her voice and screamed. The voice in the dark screamed. Everyone was screaming and running. They finally saw daylight and ran toward it. Tadpole, Gladys and the owner of the strange voice from the dark all ran toward the light.

Once in the light of day they looked around. Tadpole looked at Gladys. Gladys looked at the source of the voice. They began to laugh once they realized that they had found their companion who had gotten lost in the chamber and his candle had blown out.

And that is how Gladys added to her places she had peed in her pants, a castle.

Teach A Man To Fish

Sorry I’m late in posting. It has been quite the day what with the loading and cleaning then reloading and stocking. No, I’m not talking about guns and ammo. I am talking about loading the motor home up and heading out for the week. It is always relaxing going and staying in the R.V. We have stayed in some pretty interesting places from the mountains of Montana to the Snake River on down to the lonesome flats of Utah all the way to the Pacific Coast. We have slept under the stars on a cold Arizona night and plowed our way through blowing snow in West Texas. We have traversed hills and plunged into green valleys, seen antelope grazing in fertile fields and watched geese migrate south. This week we will be roughing it in the desert. Well Palm Springs if you can call that roughing it, which of course brings me to a story. Like you didn’t know this was leading somewhere.

Years ago Gladys lived on another coast. Now even though she grew up fishing it was usually fishing in lakes or ponds, called tanks in Texas. You know as in, Clem go down to the tank and fetch dem cows. She had never really been fishing in that big tank called the Atlantic Ocean. So her brother-in-law, Hiram, decided that they should go fishing. Hiram and his wife, Bucky, loaded up their young brood and Gladys loaded up her little one threw her lucky Zebco in the truck and met Hiram at the pier.

“Hey Glad-ass” Hiram called as she got out of the Datsun pick-up. “Hey, Hi. Where do you want me to set up?”She asked as she unloaded her tent and cooler while Tadpole grabbed the fishing poles and tackle box. The kids all ran around the camp site while the adults set up camp. Gladys popped up pup tent up in no time flat, laid out sleeping bags and hung their gear from a nearby tree. The kids gathered wood for the fire they would have later in the evening and there was talk of Some mores.

Once camp had been set-up they gathered their fishing gear and headed to the pier better known as LZ Bluebird. Did I mention this was on a military base? Did I also mention that an LZ is a landing zone as in amphibious vehicles land there as well as helicopters and boats and all sorts of big scary looking military equipment? The LZ was not being used by any ginormous menacing military machines; instead it was quiet and serene.

The flock of fishermen walked to the end of the pier and unloaded their gear. That is when Hiram noticed Gladys’ fishing pole. “Um, Glad” he stammered “that pole is real nice, but it’s, um no good for fishin in these wharters.” Gladys looked at her trusty Zebco. It was all she had ever used. It was short like her, it was light and she could cast it without any problems. What was even better it was her LUCKY Zebco. She had caught a ten pound big mouth bass with that pole. Okay maybe it was three pounds but it fought like it was ten. She looked back at Hi and said “what do you mean? I have caught many a fish with this rod and reel.” He shook his head stuffed some more Copenhagen in his cheek and said “that there is a fresh wharter rod and reel. What chew need is a salt-wharter rig. Here I got an extra un that Bucky ain’t gonna use. He handed her a twenty-five foot long rod with a reel the size of Rhode Island on it. Gladys held it with both hands and hefted it as if to cast. It was big and it was heavy but she nodded to Hiram and said “thanks.” They took their positions on the pier and that’s when she realized this reel was different than her lucky Zebco. It was an open reel. She had never used an open reel before. Her fishing poles had either been a cane pole with a line strung on it or a closed reel with a button. She had no idea how to work this reel.

“Hi, could you help me?” Gladys asked as she walked toward her brother-in-law. He sighed heavily and reeled in his line. “Wharts wrong wit it” he asked as he spit into an ant bed. “Well, you see. This has an open reel” Gladys said as a way of explanation. Hi looked at Gladys and then at the reel “yeah, so?” Gladys blushed red and started over “I don’t know how to work this. You see all my reels always had the little button that you pushed as you cast and your line would whoosh out and then you would click it and it would reel in. This doesn’t have that little button.” Hiram choked back a chuckle and said “and herrah you always sahad you was an ace fisherwoman. Huh.” He then explained how to flip the bale and reduce the tension and flip it back to set it. He also demonstrated how to cast with the long heavy stick.

Sufficiently schooled Gladys went back to her position on the pier anxious to try her new found intelligence. She planted her feet in the dirt and whipped the pole behind her and brought it forward flipping the bale and allowing the line to flow out. She watched has her brightly colored jig flew through the air. It sailed glistening in the morning sun out into the blueness of the sky landing right in the middle of Hiram’s back. Gladys was looking into the water to see where it had landed when she heard the cry “GEEZUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK! What jist bit me?” She looked at Hiram horrified to see her jig protruding from the middle of his bare back. She laid the pole down and ran to help her wounded brother-in-law. He was walking in circles hands trying to reach the offending hook. This was all done to the background music of his wife, Bucky, laughing and snorting. She had fallen to the ground in peels of laughter.

Gladys was finally able to corral her catch and with the aide of needle nose pliers pull the hook from his back. She apologized while she swabbed it with alcohol. She consoled while she slathered it with Neosporin and she swore she would do better when she buttoned it up with a Band Aide. Hiram cussed under his breath and told her just to go try it again but cast in a different direction.

Gladys went back to her place on the pier and once again tried her new craft. She whipped the pole back flipped the bale and held her breath as she let it fly. It flew beautifully. It was a perfect cast. Hiram watched with awe and wonder as the jig sailed through the air. Bucky sighed with admiration as she watched it descend into the water. Gladys wobbled trying to catch her balance and she watched the pole follow the jig into the greenish blue of the ocean. She tried to grab it. She reached out for it. She grabbed air and nothingness but not the rod. She bent low as she turned trying to grab it as it fell further and further towards the water. She turned and looked at Hiram whose eyes were the size of saucers. He had a look of terror and panic. He was screaming something at Gladys but she couldn’t quite make out the words. She was having a hard time seeing Hiram. Then it dawned on her. She couldn’t see him because she too was falling, falling from the pier into the water chasing the rod and reel. The last thing she saw before she was swallowed up was Hiram leaning off the pier with a smirk on his face.

So you see the old saying feed a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him forever but first you must teach him how to cast without casting himself into the water.

Things Aren't Always What They Seem

My Darling,



We are here at the hotel and the rooms are spacious and comfortable. The restaurant in the lobby serves hearty meals and the diner down the street makes flap jacks almost as tasty as yours. We have been out looking for work and hope to have something pinned down in a day or two. Don’t worry I will be able to send money soon.






Until we can be together again


Your loving Husband.



My grandfather wrote my grandmother a letter similar to that in 1929. It was the depression. There were bread lines and tent cities.

Ok it probably went more like this:

May,

We made it. We are fine. There is a real nice hotel here. Will be home as soon as possible.

Jack

It sounded as if my grandfather and my great uncle who was along on the job hunting excursion were doing well doesn’t it. I mean they were sleeping in a hotel right? They were eating in restaurants and diners so how bad could it be?

The truth behind this letter was that he and his brother-in-law were both sleeping on the courthouse lawn in a tent. They were bathing in the fountain and eating at the local soup kitchen. They were lucky and thankful if they both were able to eat one meal a day. They picked up any work they could find and were happy to do it. Times were tough but you know what people were tough too. They knew how to make things last and they knew how to fix things themselves.

My grandfather was a stalwart no nonsense type man. He was a hard worker and believed that the only way you got anything in life was through hard work. He was a carpenter by trade but the housing boom that had been started with the end of the first World War was coming to an abrupt halt. The stock market had crashed and our nation was being thrown into a recession. There was an ill and dusty wind blowing on the plains that would all too soon become known as the dust bowl. Getting a job of any kind was not easy. He left his young wife and daughter at home. He and his brother-in-law loaded up the model A and drove over rutted dirt roads to the nearest place that might have work. They ended up on the courthouse lawn in Weatherford, Texas. They arrived there to find a tent city set up on the lawn and no work. Not wanting to worry his wife he went into the nicest hotel on the town square and procured through a ruse a couple of sheets of stationary and an envelope from the hotel management. He penned the letter to his wife and then proceeded to live on the lawn for several weeks.

My grandfather never complained about it and only told the story matter-of-factly later in his life. He told me this story when he was in his late seventies and laughed as he told it. He said here he was stinky and dirty sneaking into the nicest hotel, pronounced by him as ‘Hoe-Tell’ to get some paper to write on and not get run out of the lobby for being a vagrant. He and his brother-in-law stood in a bread line for hours waiting to get watery soup and a hunk of stale bread. They saved the bread just in case they found work they would have something to eat.

My grandfather eventually went home and got a Hostess cupcake truck. It doesn’t matter how bad times are everyone wants a cupcake. He ran that route until the depression was over and World War II had begun. You know I learned a lot from that old man. When times get tough you do what you have to do. You don’t complain, yeah I’m still working on that one, and you keep on moving forward.  

Now you want a cupcake don't you?