Sleeping Beauty

It has been awhile since I’ve joined in the Theme Thursday blog fair. I saw this and of course it brought back a story. I thought I’d share this one with you about Sleep.

Gladys woke with a start and rubbed her eyes. “Was I asleep” she asked Kahuna. He nodded and rearranged his arm shaking it a bit when he did.

How could she have let this happen? She hadn’t felt well but had agreed to see him anyway. She had rushed home showered and primped. She dressed in her cutest top and fluffed her hair. She gargled with warm salt water trying to stave off the sore throat then drank a double espresso to keep her exhaustion at bay. She had worked close to 60 hours that week not to mention had crammed in a 2300 mile round trip for a court hearing. But he was such a nice man and had been such a gentleman on their first date several weeks back.

Gladys had been single for quite some time and her last endeavor into a relationship had ended catastrophically to say the least. Her daddy had told her that her picker was broke and boy was he right. Every man she had chosen had been a really bad choice. They were either lazy, a cheat, mean, or just downright dastardly or all of the above. Kahuna seemed different.

He actually seemed to be the answer to a prayer if you didn’t count the fact that he was a movie talker. He was attentive without being clingy; he was kind and sweet without being weak, he was available and best of all he had a great sense of humor. So she made an exception to her newest rule of not dating.

They sat close together watching the movie, his arm around her shoulder. Gladys watched as the plot unfolded and her eyes got heavy. She watched as Leonardo DiCaprio flew the Spruce Goose.

She tried to watch but something happened and her eyes closed. The next thing she knew it was the ending credits and she had been out cold for almost 3 hours. She had fallen asleep and had laid her head in her date’s lap at the local movie theater. She was mortified. If that wasn’t bad enough she had drooled. She had drooled all over this nice man’s pants. Oh she had not just exuded a little spittle. Oh no, she had emitted enough saliva to over flow the banks of the Mississippi. She wanted to die. She prayed that the roof would open up and that GAWD would smite her right there in the local Edward’s Cinema.

Kahuna shook his arm again and dabbed at his soaked dungarees with a napkin “do you feel better now?”

“I am so sorry I fell asleep on you. I didn’t mean to. I mean I know you know I didn’t mean to. What I meant was I wouldn’t have accepted the date had I known I was that exhausted.” Gladys wiped the spittle from her cheek and chin and tried to put her now disheveled hair back into some semblance of order.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you had a good sleep.”

Gladys reached in her purse and pulled out her wallet “Please let me pay you for my ticket. I mean how rude of me to allow you to pay for my ticket and then, well, you know.”

Kahuna held up his and “Nope it was well worth the money. I mean I can’t tell you the last time I spent three hours watching a movie with a woman asleep on my lap.”

Gladys was awfully embarrassed by the whole scenario and headed toward the exit. “Thank you so much for asking me out. I really do appreciate, um, well you know, your not being upset.”

Kahuna smiled “how could I be upset with someone who made them turn the volume up because she snored so loud?”

That was it Gladys searched her purse for a knife, a letter opener, anything so that she could slit her wrist right then and there.

The Game of Life

This week’s Theme Thursday, oh shut up I know it’s Tuesday, is GAME. Now several years ago Michael Douglas and Sean Penn came out with a movie called The Game. Have you seen it? It was a very interesting movie that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. It has a lot of twist and turns. I love movies like that and I love Michael Douglas, bless his heart. Isn’t it horrible that he has cancer? He seems to be attacking it with gusto and lots of positive energy. I hope everything works out for the best for him. Sorry, I got a little side-tracked. Nope this week’s post isn’t about Michael Douglas or his 1997 movie The Game. It is however about a game I used to play. So without further blathering here is my post on Game. When you have finished you can then go on over to Themed Thursday and read what the rest of the group has to say.

Gladys reached for the telephone as it rang for the third time. “Are you ready? I have a thermos of hot chocolate and the others are ready” she said to the voice on the other end of the line. “Yep, let me get my coat, when will you be here?” Gladys grabbed her gloves and her hat and headed for the driveway. She climbed into her little orange Vega and turned on the radio. It wasn’t just a radio it was a C.B. radio. It crackled and popped and voices started breaking through here and there. Lights appeared in her rearview mirror and flashed twice. Gladys picked up the microphone “breaker one nine, breaker one nine this is Heebeegeebee, how bout you Horsecandy you out there?” The radio squealed and squalled and a voice replied “that’s a big ten-four Heebeegeebee. You ready to head to the starting gate?” Gladys felt a little bit of a thrill and replied “that’s a big ten-four. I gotta stop and pick up Flygirl first. I’ll see ya there.” The radio crackled and the lights flashed again in her mirror as the car pulled away from the curb and headed down the street “ten four lil’ buddy.”

Gladys pushed the eight tract tape into the player and Barbara Mandrel started telling her about sleeping single in a double bed. She cruised the winter night looking at the beginnings of Christmas lights and loving the crispness of the evening. She pulled up in front of the house and honked the horn. A petite curly headed blond bounced out of the house and jumped into the shotgun seat. “Hey, where we meeting” she asked. Gladys turned down the radio and said “at Fair Park, by the monkey house.” Flygirl nodded and settled in taking the microphone in her hand and keying in “breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine Horsecandy you got a copy?” The radio clicked and replied “I gotcha Flygirl, what’s your 20?” Flygirl cleared her throat and replied “we are on our way we’ll see you in a few.” The two girls chatted and laughed as they cruised through the lit streets.

Gladys pulled into the parking lot and flashed her lights. She was met with a dozen pair of headlights flashing in reply. She eased her little hatchback into a slot next to the little maroon Subaru. There were a few people milling about drinking coffee and hot chocolate from thermoses and paper cups. Gladys and Flygirl joined them in anticipation. There were murmurings and speculations of what the night’s mission would be.

There was a crackling and a squeal at the front of the pack over the P.A. system attached to the leader’s radio. The crowd froze as out from the night came the instructions. “Everyone get a piece of paper from the table. On it will be your mission. You must follow it to the letter or you will be disqualified. You will either be a Hunter the Game. It will be stated at the top of the page. If you are the Game you will have exactly thirty minutes to get into position. Hunters, you will call in every 5 minutes and give your 20. Should you find the Game you must first give your call name and then the name of the GAME. You must then beat the Game back to base or your find will be null and the game will start over with a new Target. Now everyone get into place and let the GAME begin.” There was a crackle and a pop signaling the crowd to attack the table and get their assignments.

Flygirl grabbed the paper and whistled low. Gladys looked in question as Flygirl entered the car. “Looks like we are gonna be hunted.” Gladys blew out a long breath “okay, I scouted out some good hiding spots this afternoon. Let’s pull out and we will just act like we are gonna be huntin.” The cars began fanning out in different directions, one by one clicking on the radio and giving call name. “Possum headin out”, “Sweet Pea on the road”, “Horsecandy is making like a tree and leafing”, “Catfish saying see ya round like a doughnut” and on and on until each team had reported in.

Gladys and Flygirl sped in the direction of the M-system store constantly looking in their mirrors for followers. They circled the shopping center then crept down the side streets until they had doubled back around town to the backside of Fair Park. Flygirl constantly watching the clock and reporting in “Flygirl and Heebeegeebee checking in” she would repeat after keying the mic. Gladys turned her headlights off as she crept behind the stadium and past the bleachers. She eased the little car into a spot just under the home-teams bleachers next and turned off the motor. “I don’t think they will find us here” Gladys said as she poured herself a cup of cocoa. Flygirl looked around “Can they see us from Barrow Street?” Gladys took a sip “I don’t think so. I couldn’t see anything when I drove by this afternoon. There was a cop sitting here and I didn’t see him until the sun hit his bumper.”

Gladys and Flygirl sat and waited calling in and listening for others to do the same. They sat for an hour and listened to the chatter on the radio laughing to themselves about what a great hiding spot they had found. They sat while the chatter got thinner and thinner and the two girls fell asleep. “Gladys, it’s midnight! I’m gonna be grounded! We gotta go home!” Flygirl cried as she jerked awake. Gladys started the engine and put the gas pedal to the metal. They flew past the high school and sped up the deserted streets. They skidded around corners and barely stopped at stop signs. “Hurry Gladys! My dad will KILL ME!”

Gladys was worried about Flygirl but she was more worried about Nurse Meme beating her home from work. Flygirl might get grounded for a week, but Nurse Meme was known for grounding you for life! They skidded to a stop in front of Flygirl’s house as she launched herself from the vehicle and ran up the sidewalk; Gladys didn’t wait for her to get in the house. She hit the intersection at break-neck speed as her tires spun around the corner. She slowed and turned off her lights and coasted into her driveway. She shucked her coat and gloves and deposited them in the passenger seat. She looked in the garage for signs of Nurse Meme’s car and was relieved to see it empty. She ran in the house and headed straight for the bathroom. She changed into her pajamas and ran and jumped into bed just as she heard the backdoor open then close and the smell of White Shoulders, Aqua-net and Virginia Slims wafted into her room. She had beat Nurse Meme home and had once again avoided prosecution.

“GLADYS! GLADYS! What in the hell have you been doing all evening? The floors haven’t been vacuumed and there are dirty dishes in the dishwasher” Nurse Meme exclaimed as she stood silhouetted in the doorway. Gladys innocently sat up and sleepily said “sorry Momma, we got to playing games and I forgot.” That is when it hit her. She was still playing the game. They had not checked out or been found. She was still being hunted. She was still the target.

To this day, Gladys is still part of the game. She has not been found. Well at least not by the C.B. Hide and Seek Club.

What Was Behind Curtain # 2

Wow did that birthday flu ever really knock me for a loop.  I mean here it is Monday night again and I haven’t even posted my Theme Thursday.  They are doing it a little different this week.  They, again who the heck is ‘they’, gave us a theme ON Thursday and sent us out into the world to reveal the theme.  I wallered and wrestled and tried to think of how to reveal the theme.  Then it hit me square in the face they wanted me to WRITE about reveal.  I thought long and hard and tried to think of something to reveal then it hit me.  So I am here to REVEAL my story for Theme Thursday on Monday.  Go on over to THEME THURSDAY and see what everyone else revealed.

Gladys fluffed her hair and applied another layer of mascara then smiled to make sure her luscious pink lipstick hadn’t stuck to her teeth.  She smiled in the mirror and turned to Alice “I am so excited!  Bobby Lee and I are going to dance in the tango hustle contest.  You know first prize is a trip for two to the Bahamas.”  Alice swept another brush full of bronze beauty blush on her cheekbone and raised her eyebrows “you really like Bobby Lee don’t you?”  Gladys giggled a little “he is soooo good looking and dances really good.  Don’t you think he’s handsome?”  Alice turned put her hand on her hip and replied “yeah, he’s good lookin alright but somin just ain’t right about him.  I mean he’s big and tough but I’m tellin ya there is somein weird about him.”  Gladys waved her hand and headed out the door. 

Gladys walked out to the big GMC Jimmy and let Bobby Lee open her door “Gladys you sure do look sweet tonight.  I am so glad you wore that blue leotard it matches your eyes.  I love those shoes.  Are they new?  The ankle strap looks very retro.”  Bobby Lee looked Gladys up and down one more time before he helped her into the truck.  Gladys smiled at the thought that Bobby Lee always noticed every thing she was wearing.  He always commented on her clothes and her jewelry, heck sometimes he made suggestions about which earrings or shoes she should wear with certain outfits.  Most of her boyfriends thought that a mule was something that pulled a wagon and a pump was what brought oil out of the ground, not Bobby Lee.  He knew mules were shoes with no backs and pumps went with everything from blue jeans to evening gowns.  Yep he was a man’s man who knew what looked good on women.

They arrived at the disco and made their way through the waiting crowd.  Everybody knew Bobby Lee.  He was friendly and amiable and just a fun guy to be around.  They greeted him with hoots and hollers as he adjusted his Angel Flight polyester pants and pulled the collar up on his polyester shirt.  John Travolta had nothing on Bobby Lee.  Gladys beamed with pride to be on Bobby Lee’s arm as they sashayed to the dance floor and began to hustle.  They sashayed left and boogie right.  They dipped and turned and began it all again.  Dancers separated and circled the floor as the couple danced across the floor.   They were the Fred and Ginger of the Hustle. 

The disc jockey announced that the dance off was about to begin.  Gladys and Bobby Lee checked their appearance each adjusting each others outfits and then hugged.  The music began and they moved in perfect rhythm.  He gripped her tight and they moved across the floor as he twirled and whirled and dipped her.  They were perfection both moving as one Bobby Lee offering little whispers of encouragement.   Their turn was almost over when Bobby Lee dipped Gladys into a deep back bend and leaned over and whispered in her ear. 

Instead of releasing and being pulled back into his waiting arms Gladys turned the wrong way and landed on her back.  He reached to pull her in as if it were all part of the choreography but Gladys was in such shock from what he had just revealed she couldn’t move.  The crowd gasped and there she lie on the floor in a strange contortion.  Bobby Lee quickly grabbed her up into his arms and did a couple of spins but his revelation had spoiled the synchronicity of their dance.  The song ended and so did their chance of winning the big trip.  Gladys walked off the dance floor in shock and embarrassment. 

Alice ran after Gladys as she made her way to the ladies room.  “Honey!  What happened out there?  You guys were winning it.  You were perfect.  What the hell happened?”  Gladys turned her glazed stare towards her friend and said “it was what he revealed to me.”  Alice hugged Gladys trying to reassure her “oh, honey it can’t have been THAT bad.”  Gladys sniffled a big sniff and began to cry.  Then she revealed what Bobby Lee had said.  “Alice, he said if we won he wanted to take his boyfriend with him.  He is GAY!”  Alice sat down on the floor with a whomp and said “well that explains a lot!”

I Love You For Sentimental Reasons....

I’m checking in for Theme Thursday.  I’m in between classes and decided to sit down and write my post.  I flipped over to the Theme Thursday page to see what today’s theme would be.  There on the front page everyone had signed up already.  I am late to the party again.  I clicked on Brian and read a nice bit of poetry.  I toggled over to West Valley Photo and up popped the picture of REASON.  Yes this week’s theme is REASON and Nonamedufus gave me a REASON to Believe.  Now there has to be a reason for that, right?  I mean it would seem to reason that the powers that be, just who are those powers anyway and are they SUPER powers, would choose it for a reason.  I took a personality test this week and found that I am one who likes to have stability and a reason for doing things.  Here is my take on reason or at least my reason for something.  I’m reasonable like that.  Once you read my little ditty go on other and check out what other people reason is reasonable for a REASON THEME THURSDAY.

Gladys sat at her computer trying to compose the letter.  It became increasingly evident that she just couldn’t find the words.  This was a first for Gladys.  She never ran out of words.  She had more words than she had breath.  She leaned back and closed her eyes and tried to come to reason with herself. 

She drew in a deep breath and the exhaled sat up and placed her fingers on the keys.  She waited for inspiration.  She waited for the muse to inspire her with words that spoke her heart.  Nothing.  Nothing at all came to mind.  She knew she wanted to express her feelings but she just couldn’t find the words.  She waited fingers poised.   Then they began to move.  Her fingers flew over the keys, fingernails clicking out a steady beat.  Gladys looked up at the screen and read “the quick grey fox jumped over the fence”.  She sighed and hit the delete button. 

She reached over and took a bite of the cookie and began once again.

Dear Keebler Elves,

The reason for my correspondence is I have forever loved your creations and my particular favorite is your Danish Wedding Cookies.  I have not been able to find them here in Southern California and am saddened that I can not partake in that magical goodness. 

I know it would be too much to ask for an Elf to come live with me and stay in my kitchen cranking out copious quantities of these delightful little cookies.  Would you consider instead giving me the recipe?  I am convinced that there is some magic dust or some kind of special something (crack cocaine?) that you may need to send me so that mine will be as wonderful.  I promise I will not share this recipe with anyone; it will just be our little secret.  I mean it’s a win, win situation right?  I would be more popular than a super-delegate at the democratic convention and your secret is safe.  I promise I will share the finished product with those less fortunate who have never had the pleasure of eating a whole box in one sitting, then licking the wax paper lining to get the last speck of that white powdered goodness.

Again, I will gladly give an elf a warm bed and a kitchen instead of a tree in which to bake.  Should you choose to send me the recipe and some of your elfin goodness to go in them I will be forever grateful.

Yours forever addicted,

Gladys

PS  Could you send me the Pecan Sandie recipe too?  Maybe you should just send me the elves.

Equal, Not Greater Or Less Than

Here it is getting on Thursday Eve and I decided to take a break from my studies to check on Theme Thursday.  I have a hard time sometimes partitioning my time out.  I have gotten so used to lollygagging around, don’t ask me why I’ve been gagging Lolly heck I don’t even know Lolly, that I am rusty at managing my time.  Now all things being equal you would think I would be able to slot time each and every day to share one of my uber interesting stories with you.  Alas all things are not equal, not in my life and not in yours.  I looked around my little sitting area for some inspiration for equal.  What is equal?  I mean I know that 2 plus 2 EQUALS 4 but other than that what is equal?  Now I could get all philosophical and ask you what the meaning of is IS but then I would be just like an ex-president who didn’t think he was equal in the eyes of the law.  I could tell you about the sugar substitute that sits in my pantry in the little blue packet next to the big bag of Dixie Pure Cane Sugar.  I could tell you about how the topography around my home town is equal.  Instead I decided to share a story from long ago and far away.  Read my pontification of equal, plus read the writings over at THEME THURSDAY.  I’m sure Brian, Baino, Everyday Goddess and the rest will have plenty of Equal for your tea.

Gladys sat in the cafeteria watching as the two new kids were paraded around.  Mrs. Perkins fussed and fawned over the interlopers.  Gladys leaned over the table and whispered to Ima Jean “What makes them so special?  Mrs. Perkidickydido is acting like they just fell from heaven or something!”  Ima Jean kicked Gladys under the table and pointed over her shoulder.  Gladys looked up in time to see Mrs. Fenwick eyeing her “Ms. McGuillicutty, we eat our food then we have time to chat.”  Gladys averted her eyes and ducked her head “Yes, Mrs. Fenwick.” 

Mrs. Perkins made her way to Gladys’ table and stood at the end.  She cleared her throat and announced “students, this is Stella and David.  They are new to our school and I expect you all to make them feel welcome.  Now Stella will be joining Mrs. Fenwick’s class and I will need someone to help show her the ropes.”  Gladys never one to miss an opportunity to suck-up raised her hand and jumped around in her seat trying not to shout out.  Mrs. Perkins eyed the table up and down in the hopes someone other than motor-mouth Gladys would take Stella under her wing.  Gladys cleared her throat and held her hand up as high as she could while still keeping her butt firmly planted on the chair, well at least most of it.  Finally Mrs. Perkins pointed to Gladys and said “Stella, Gladys will help you get situated.  I would just be sure she let’s you get a word in edge wise.”  She then pushed the shy and intrepid child to her future. 

Gladys stood up and scooted down to the next chair “Hi my name is Gladys.  Your name is Stella.  How come you got to come into school late?  Why didn’t you come in when the rest of us did?  Are you new to town or did you just move across town?  Is David your brother?  You don’t look anything alike.  I have a big scab on my knee do you want to see it?  Where were you born?  I was found under a rock.”  Gladys spewed words non stop for a good minute and a half until she finally had to take a breath.  “Do you always talk this much” Stella asked looking at Gladys wide eyed.  Gladys took a deep breath and began her next string of questions. 

Together the girls stood up waited in line with their trays and went through the rest of the lunch-room ritual.  Gladys talked the whole time while Stella stood staring at Gladys with awe.  She walked right beside her as Gladys parlayed the latest gossip “that over there is Johnny.  He was on his way to school one day and his sister was driving and the car went around the corner too fast and he fell out and had to have a bunch of surgeries and stuff but don’t say nuthin to him about it because he’ll hit you.”  They walked past Ms.  Marshman’s class “that is the second grade teacher whose husband went off to war and she doesn’t want to be called Mrissus no more.  She is real nice though.”  Stella stopped and stared into the class room at the young teacher with the white high heels and the big hair “I wonder why?”  Gladys puffed her chest out and replied “well, don’t be tellin nobody but I think it’s cause she don’t like Mr. Marshman cause he left and went to fight over there in Vietkong.”  Stella nodded her head and they walked on.

The girls got to class and Gladys walked up to Mrs. Fenwick’s desk “Mrissus Fenwick can Stella sit next to me?  I can pull a desk over and she can just take Kurt’s place in the row.  PLEEEEAAASSE?”  Mrs. Fenwick looked a little nervous and then looked around the class “um, well Gladys, um I have a special desk over here for Stella.  Why don’t you go to your seat and Stella can sit over here in her special seat.”  Gladys looked around the room and in the back corner sat a lonely desk.  “Why does she have to sit back there?  Has she been bad?  Is she one of them kids from the bad school or sumthin?”  Mrs. Fenwick put her hand to her neck and fiddled with her pearls “Um, no, it’s just that Stella is different.  I’m afraid some of your parents wouldn’t want Stella to sit in the middle of the class.”  Gladys not being able to comprehend the inequality at play asked “Why?  She don’t stink nor nuthin.”  Mrs. Fenwick was now flustered and replied “Gladys go sit down.  Don’t you be worrying about Stella.  You go sit in your seat and try to be quiet.”  Gladys shook her head “I can’t.  Mrs. Perki, I mean Mrs. Perkins told me to take care of Stella and to show her the ropes.  I got to take care of her.  It’s my job.  I promised.”  Mrs. Fenwick coughed a little “Gladys, I will take care of Stella.  It is my job.”  Gladys started to protest but saw that Mrs. Fenwick was giving her the stink-eye.  “Okay, but if I get in trouble with Mrs. Perkins I’m tellin her it’s your fault.”  Mrs. Fenwick turned Gladys around “you do that Gladys.” 

Gladys watched as Mrs. Fenwick guided her new best friend to a chair in the corner of the room.  She watched as Stella took out the prettiest pink notebook she had ever seen.  All Gladys had was a blue cloth covered one that had already been marked all over by her older brother.  Well at least he was good at drawing cause he had some pretty funny pictures drawn all over it.  He had pictures of that big eared guy from Mad Magazine with “Who ME?” written under it and flying dinosaurs and stuff.  Gladys looked longingly at that pretty pink notebook and just sighed, Stella must be rich, that’s why she’s special. 

The day ended with out much fervor and Gladys packed up her books.  Mrs. Fenwick watched as her students filed from the classroom and noticed Gladys lagging behind.  Stella yelled out to Gladys “Hey, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”  Gladys smiled and waved back “okay!  I’ll ask Mrs. Fenwick if we can be liberry buddies.”  Gladys stuffed the last of her papers into her plaid book bag and headed toward the door.  She stopped and turned back to Mrs. Fenwick’s desk.  “Excuse me, can I ask you a question” asked Gladys as she lugged the bag toward Mrs. Fenwick’s desk.  Mrs. Fenwick put down her red pen and turned the papers she was grading over “yes of course you can.”  Gladys shuffled her feet and picked at her nail.  “Um, why can’t Stella sit next to me?  Is it because I talk too much?  Is it because I was found under a rock?  I mean if it’s that I have taken lots of baths since I was pulled from under the rock and I promise I don’t stink.  Mrs. Fenwick I won’t even talk to her if you sit her next to me.  It’s just not right that she has to sit away from the rest of us.  I smelled her and she don’t stank.  She smells good kind of like candy or something.  Really I promise I’ll be extra good.”  Mrs. Fenwick looked down at her desk and then back up at Gladys “oh, honey, you didn’t do anything wrong and neither did Stella.  It’s just that our school system is desegregating the schools and well, she is different than the rest of the students.”

http://achildshallleadthem.org/

Gladys stood there for a second trying to comprehend what her teacher was saying.  She just didn’t understand the words.  “Mrs. Fenwick I don’t know what desecration means.  I don’t understand.”  Mrs. Fenwick took out a piece of paper and wrote down DESEGREGATION and then the words SEPARATE BUT EQUAL. 

http://achildshallleadthem.org/

Now Gladys understood equal.  That meant that it was all the same, but what was separate but equal?  Mrs. Fenwick gave Gladys the paper and said “tomorrow when we go to the library I want you to look up these two things.  I will help you if you need but I want YOU to discover their meanings.”  Gladys clutched the paper with the magic words that would explain the meaning of life to her and she headed out the door.

Brush Strokes

 “Good morning yesterday, you wake up and time has slipped away…”  Wait, What?  It is Thursday once again which means it is time for THEME THURSDAY.  This week’s theme is Brush.  Now I have to tell you the first thing I thought of was paint brushes but that is only because I have done more than my share of this lately.  I am not talking painting pictures here I’m talking painting walls.  Oh how I wish I could have been like Tom Sawyer and been able to dupe some poor unsuspecting soul into thinking how much fun it was to slather a layer of paint onto a surface.  Oh what fun!  What joy!  What Elation!  What a load of horse manure!  I had this whole thought process going on about painting walls and then another brush came to mind.  Yes this week’s theme is BRUSH and here is my contribution for others click on THEME THURSDAY and then visit with Brian, Julie, Roy and the bunch have to say about Brush.

Gladys sat on the counter as her head was being yanked back with each brush stroke.  “I don’t know where you got all that nappy hair” Matilda exclaimed as she drug the brush through her little sister’s unruly hair “must have been from them circus people who left you under that rock.”  Gladys wiped the tears from her eyes not knowing if she was crying because her hair was being yanked out by the roots or because she didn’t know who she really was.  It was a huge burden for a six year old to bear, being found under a rock and all.  She was brave and courageous and more than anything else jealous of Matilda’s beautiful straight hair. 

Matilda stopped brushing long enough to fluff of her coif and then went back to trying to tug the tangles from Gladys’ hair.   She stopped mid yank and looked in the mirror examining the reflection of her and her little sister.  “I could be Miss America.  I could walk down that runway just like those girls on the teevee.  I mean I’m just as pretty as they are if not prettier.”  Then she took the brush and held it up as a make-shift microphone in front of Gladys’ bucked tooth smile “announce me.”  Gladys giggled then replied “huh?”  Matilda pushed the brush closer to her mouth and demanded “announce me, stupid.”  Gladys’ eyes opened with understanding and she said “Ok I announce YOUR STUPID!”  That’s when the uncontrollable giggling began.  Unfortunately Gladys thought she was much funnier than Matilda did.  Matilda popped Gladys on the arm “no dummy, announce me like I’m Miss Texas being crowned Miss America!  You know just like Bert Parks.”  

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Gladys took hold of the brush and in her best game-show host voice said “Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Miss America is Matilda Lucille McGuilicutty.” Then in her lowest voice she began singing “There she is Miss America…”  At this announcement Matilda grabbed the brush from Gladys’ hand and laid it across the crook of her arm like a bouquet of roses and began her walk of honor. 

Matilda slowly stepped out the bathroom door and down the hall waving to her adoring fans.  She blew kisses and wiped the imaginary tears from her eyes.  Gladys jumped down from the counter continuing to sing “There she is our ideeeaaalll”.  Then not knowing the rest of the words Gladys decided to ad-lib.  “There she goes Miss America.  There she goes with big toes.  Here she is big and fat.  Here she is a blundering rat.  There she is a pooper head…” but she couldn’t get out the next verse.  The once delicate and graceful Miss America had pounded her way back up the hall and had begun tickling the reserved game-show host turned emcee. 

Matilda turned the brush into a sword and began dueling with Gladys.  Gladys grabbed the rat-tailed comb from the counter top and contre' parried.  She thrust and withdrew then ran squeezing past Matilda racing for the kitchen.  Matilda now acting as Zorro would have none of it.  She ran after Gladys and countered her thrust they dueled through the living room and onto the screened in porch.  That’s when they heard the voice. 

“What in the HELL are you two doing?  You better be getting ready for school!” came the shout from the laundry room.  “Matilda!  Did you brush Gladys’ hair yet?”  Matilda and Gladys both stopped mid-assuat.  Matilda poised the brush over Gladys’ unruly locks and replied “Yes, ma’am.  I’m brushing it out right now, but them Gypsies must have had Brillo Pads for hair!”