THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

The smell of Sulphur was strong in the room.  A faint light illuminated the doorway and outlined the shadow standing there.  A bubbling, sucking noise surrounded her and the weight on her chest was excruciating.  She was half asleep but also half awake.  She struggled to move but found herself completely paralyzed.   Eyes finally adjusting to the dim light she was able to make out the figure who sat on her chest.

She gasped for air as the grotesque figure bent low as if to kiss her.  She tried to fight but he must have put some kind of spell on her for she could not move, not one muscle.  It was a chore to breath.  The little creature moved  pinning her shoulders with its claw hands and slobbered hungrily.  He snarled and breathed his Sulphur breath on her face and made a snorting sound.

From the corner of her eye she could distinguish the other creature moving toward her.  Her panic was so intense she emitted a silent scream.   Both creatures chortled their screeching laugh and moved in closer. 

She knew what this was.  She had experienced this before.  They were here to suck the soul from her.  They would each take a turn to give her that depleting kiss of death.  They were here to take from her all she had and leave nothing but a shell.  She could not move, could not fight them off.   

They were the things that come in the night while we are in our dream world.  They creep from bed to bed looking for their next meal, their next soul to consume.  We never see them, nor do we know they are there because we are paralyzed in our sleep sinking deeper into the abyss of our dreams.  Every once in a while, though, we will be in the in-between and that is when we spot them.  We see them hanging over us, taste testing our soul to judge if it is ready for harvest.   It is at this time we are most vulnerable.   We cannot defend ourselves nor can we cry out for help, they have us captured.

She steeled herself for what would come next.  

The last time they had visited they had both taken a taste and deemed her not quite ripe.  She tried to pull away as the second creature leapt to the head of the bed and caressed her hair.  Bending low staring into her eyes it sniffed her face, stuck a tongue in her ear.  She wanted so much to cry out and pull away but her body would not cooperate.  Was this really the end?  Was she ripe for harvest?  Was her soul ready to be drawn from her body to energize these gargoyles?  NO! Her brain screamed.  GET OFF OF ME!   LEAVE ME ALONE!

Her heart pounded and her chest ached with each labored breath.  Her eyes wide open she watched as they debated, gesturing with their long talon fingers.  The one at the head of the bed insistent the other less sure.  Little by little she could feel her body being freed.  She kicked her legs and tried to sit up to shake the creature from her but she was still bound by his weight.  She felt a spec of spit it her cheek and looked as the creature at her head shook its head and motioned to the other.  In a flash they were gone, the weight lifted from her chest and her body was returned to her.  She jumped from the bed panting and pacing.  She had been spared yet again. 

That is when Gladys swore she would never eat Mexican food after seven o’clock at night again.  

Would You Rather?

Remember playing that game Would You Rather as a kid?  You know the one.  Would you rather eat a bug or touch a snake?  Would you rather walk on hot coals or pet a snake?  I would choose whatever didn’t have to do with being in the vicinity of the snake.  I have a phobia of snakes and would rather set my hair on fire than see, be around or especially touch a snake.  My friends and family always made sure to put snakes in the rather because they know how I feel about snakes.  I mean really I understand snakes are a necessary evil.  We would be overwhelmed with rodents if it weren’t for snakes.  I get it.  They serve a valuable purpose but please just let them do it far away from me.  I digress.  This is not about snakes, or rats or even being a kid.  This is about Would You Rather.

I have an autoimmune disorder. I won’t go into details other than I’ve had it most of my adult life and yes it’s a real illness.  I won’t call it a disease because that sounds icky and curable.   It is one of those illnesses that you can’t see.  I don’t walk with a limp or have huge sores all over my body.  It is invisible.  Believe me, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.  It causes extreme fatigue.  The kind of fatigue that makes you feel like all your energy just ran out your toes and spilled into a puddle on the ground.  You want to bend over, gather it up and put it back in your body but you can’t because you are just too damned exhausted.  Your body aches like you’ve been on a three day drunk and you are trying to sober up.  It is as if you have the worst case of flu you’ve ever had times one thousand.

 You don’t always know when it will flare but you can bet it will be at a most inopportune time.  Standing in the check -out line at Target you will feel a wave of exhaustion and then you are unsure of whether you can make it to the cashier before your body gives completely out and you will need to be carried out like a sack of potatoes.  Those of us who are experienced at this know the only thing to do is apologize to those around and abandon your cart and head for your car, where you sit until you can gather the energy to drive home.  You leave a contrail of your energy as you go.  Sadly with your energy so goes your cognitive abilities which means you must concentrate very hard on driving which drains more energy.  It is a vicious cycle the more you concentrate the more energy is expelled and the more energy you expel the more fog you create in your brain. 

During these flares you tend to play the Would You Rather game.  Only instead of would you rather ride an elephant or swim with stingrays or some fun activity you play would you rather take a shower or make breakfast.  You only have energy for one activity and you make these choices based on where you are in life.  You rationalize I took a shower two days ago, so I can make breakfast today.   Or you tell yourself I ate yesterday so I can shower today.  Yes, really.  You are really that fatigued.   You play this game with yourself all day long. 

 I say fatigued because fatigue is different than being tired.  Fatigue is wanting to do and go and be but you physically are unable to muster the energy.  Tired is from lack of sleep, or exertion.  The kicker is you are tired because you don’t sleep.  The fatigue keeps you from sleeping which feeds the exhaustion which exacerbates the fatigue. Not only are you fatiqued but you are tired and exhausted which makes your fatigue much worse.   This is a feeling that is deep in your bones and consumes your soul.  You try to read a book or watch a movie but you can’t follow the plot because it takes too much energy.  It is not depression or laziness it is fatigue. 

What’s your Would You Rather have an autoimmune disease or pet a snake?  Hand me that snake.