Who Won? Who Won? I KNOW!

I sat down at my computer this morning with all intentions of announcing the winner of Erin Bried’s book “How to Sew A Button…” but I couldn’t connect to random integer generator site. I took a swig of my perfectly made pumpkin spiced latte and decided to peruse the world wide web. I then decided it was time for a little breakfast and went to the kitchen and realized my faucet still looked like this. I sighed heavily and went back to bed.

I pulled the covers over my head and decided not to worry about the faucet or the mounds of laundry piling up. I decided to just stay in bed and watch sappy Christmas movies. I watched a couple of episodes of Dirty Jobs, drank another cup of coffee and made myself get out of bed but only because I had to pee.

I wandered through the house and went back to bed and picked up the remote control and flipped through the 5000 stations and decided there was nothing to watch. How can that be? When I was a kid we weren’t allowed to watch a lot of television. Nurse Meme would say “get the hell out of this house! You kids are driving me crazy!” We three would look outside at the sleet or rain or blowing dust and say “but MAWWMA it’s awful out there.”

She would shake her head and say “go on outside and play. It’s good for you. It will build character.” She would then wrestle us out the door and she would lock it, smile at us from the window and sit down and smoke her cigarette and drink her coffee in relative peace and quiet. Well except for the fact that she had three crumb munchkins with their pitiful faces pressed up against the glass watching her. She had an easy remedy for that though, she just closed the curtains. I digress.

Remembering what Nurse Meme said I decided to go outside; actually Boz decided to go outside. The poor guy was standing with his legs crossed doing the peepee dance. I hooked up the leash and he took me outside where I was hit in the face with a big glaring sun. What the heck? Doesn’t mother nature know it’s almost Christmas? Doesn’t she know that it should be cold and grey? Did she decide to take all of her Christmas weather and dump it on the east coast? It was eighty degrees outside for Pete’s sake. Hey have you ever wondered who that guy Pete is and why it is always for his sake? What makes him so ding danged special?

Since the weather was so gawdawful wonderful I decided to hang some laundry on the line and then perhaps grill out doors.

Am I making those of you covered in snow a little jealous? Yeah don’t be. Last year at this time I was sitting in a snug little cabin buried under six feet of snow. The world was white and pristine. It was gorgeous. It looked like Christmas is supposed to look.

Then I walked back into my kitchen and saw my faucet, again. I decided to do the only thing I could do. I sat down at my computer wrote this and went back on Random Integer Generator and put in the parameters. Then I pushed the button and this is the result it came back with.

Generated Result:

Who you ask is # 22 it’s faithful reader Angela. Now Angela the ball is in your court. You need to e-mail me your contact information so I can get this book sent off to you as soon as I get through being lazy. Angela you out there? Angela! Is that you with your nose pressed against the window?

Oh and just so you know.  Kahuna repaired the faucet and I once again have a functioning faucet without that lovely electrical tape.  We replace faucets around here like Tiger Woods picks up women, all the time.

Gladys Gives Away Grandmothers kind of

I got a call from my twenty-something niece, Tooter the other day. We were chit chatting and she said Aunt Gladys how do you make stew. Well I launched in to my diatribe of how you dust the meat and so on and she stopped me and said “Is the meat dirty? Is that why you dust it?” Then I realized I was speaking another language and that she had not yet learned. You see I learned things from my mother who I think just instinctively learned them because she didn’t really have a mother to teach her things. It was like Nurse Meme instinctively knew how to fold a fitted sheet or wash a cashmere sweater and then passed that knowledge down to Matilda and me.

Nurse Meme would set her hair with beer.

My Grandmother yes the same Grandmother who jumped in the number five washtub with me also was a wealth of knowledge. There wasn’t anything that woman couldn’t do. She could sew, sing, cook, mend, crochet, garden and since she passed away when I was only five she could have taught me all those things but well she went too soon. I am left with remnants of her though a homemade apron, a picture painted on an old canvas window shade because she didn’t have canvas, her flour sifter and her chocolate pie recipe.

I get calls from my daughters and others often wanting to know the secrets of pie crust and how to bleach out your white clothes without turning them yellow. I love getting these calls because it gives me the chance to pass on the knowledge with which I was blessed. I have always said I would have made a great 1940’s housewife because I can make one roasted chicken into five or more meals, I know how to compost my kitchen waste and can put up my own vegetables.

This brings me all to the point of my post. Yes I have a point and yes it’s a good one. The other day I received an email from Erin Bried wanting to know if I would be interested in giving away one of her books “How to Sew a Button and Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew”. Now I had never heard of Erin even though she had been featured in O magazine, yes as in OPRAH. Did you just hear a choir of angels sing? Yeah me too. Now I feel like I know Oprah personally what with all that six degrees of separation and all. She is also a senior staff writer at Self magazine and has been featured in Redbook among others, Erin not Oprah.

It wasn’t Oprah that impressed me though it was something else or I should say somebody else. It was the fact that Erin interviewed grandmothers, yes other people’s grandmothers, and compiled all of their knowledge in this book. One of the women she interviewed is Mildred A. Kalish the author of Little Heathens.

I read Little Heathens awhile back and loved it so much I shared it with my family. You see I don’t believe we can hear enough about what life was like before we had all these modern conveniences and she describes her life growing up in the early part of the last century so well.  I recommend you read Little Heathens as soon as you finish with Erin's book.

I received Erin's book earlier this week and I sat down and was mesmerized by the topics, like how to fold a fitted sheet; yep she does it just like Nurse Meme taught me. How about how to wear red lipstick? I shy from red lipstick even though I love it because I’ve never been sure how to choose the right shade for my complexion. This book is a wonderful wealth of knowledge. You must get one for yourself and for all your domestically challenged friends and relatives.  My Sisters Farmhouse is having a contest to give away one of Erin’s books and so am I.

Yes I am giving away a copy of Erin’s book which goes on sale December 18. I have preordered copies for myself, my daughters, my nieces and of course myself because believe it or not I do not know everything.

Here is how you win, leave me a comment of something your grandmother or mother heck let’s not be biased your grandfather, father, uncle, brother or aunt taught you. I will throw all your comments in the random integer hat Saturday morning and come up with a winner. The one who wins will win a copy of Erin’s book and….This. So sign up and learn things your grandmother knew.

Vote For My Great Caninenieces

My niece Tooter has to be one of the most creative and inventive people I know.  She will turn red and shuffle her feet and say "Aw Aunt Gladys."   The truth is she didn't know a sewing machine from a frying pan and she put her mind to sewing some costumes for her little doggies for Halloween.

 Now let me first say that these two little doggies are not dogs but are more like children.  They go every where with Tooter.  They have flown all over the nation, ridden boats, trains, planes and automobiles.  They have eaten in some of the finest resturants and stayed in some of the fanciest hotels.

 That being said she entered them in a little Halloween contest and I just think they are too cute not to win.  So go over to the button on the side of this page and click on it.  Vote for #58.  I'm just so danged proud of my little Great Caninenieces and of Tooter.  She rescued both of these little sweeties and I think they found a humdinger of a momma even if she does dress them up in dresses.

Random Thoughts and Winner Announced

I have to give credit to my sister-in-law Pie for this picture.

This is Trooper and Buck. Like father like son.

I have to admit I sometimes sit and stare out into space and wonder. I wonder about so many things. I have so many quandaries and questions upon which I study. Sometimes I will go to the computer and research these paradoxes and often I find no answers. I will ask my loving mate, Kahuna, if he has the answers and he will often look me in the eyes, pat me on the head and say “Did you remember to take your medication?” So I will share my thoughts with you and please feel free to pipe in and answer these bewilderments. No really PLEASE give me some relief!

Here is a big one. If identical twins marry identical twins will their children look alike?

Or

Where do those shoes in the middle of the freeway come from? Why shoes? Why not girdles and mesh tank tops? Why are they usually sneakers and there is only one?

If a fly gets into your car and you are driving 100 miles per hour is the fly flying the same rate of speed to keep up with you? If he stops will he pierce the back windshield as he is hurled through the glass and to a horrible death?

If each snow flake is unique pattern will it ever run out of unique patterns and start repeating itself? And how do we know that each snow flake is unique?

Does someone study each and every snow flake? If so who does he or she work for?

Is this the snowflake inspector?

Now see this is why I get nothing done.

I linked this to Mrs. 4444 blog for Friday Fragments: Here is her linky thingy. Click on it and she will magically appear and fix your a drink. Ok maybe she won't fix you a drink but she will make you smile.

I ran the TRNG on the comments to Hank The Cow Dog Contest and came up with this
True Random Number Generator Min: Max: Result: 5

Which was Michelle over at http://isthekitchencleanyet.blogspot.com/ who said:

Michelle said...
I loved the Bobbsey Twins - my great aunt's old yellowed copies that the pages would break off if you bent them or hit them against something. Something about how careful I had to be with the books made me treasure them.

Michelle e-mail with your information and I’ll get these in the mail to you.

Thanks to everyone for playing. Next time I’ll see if I can give a way a Pony or a Cadillac or something.