Years and years ago my family went camping in the mountains
of New Mexico. I was probably four years
old but I still remember it like it was yesterday. All of us piled in the salmon colored Ford station
wagon, our beloved daschund huddled in the back seat with the rest of us kids
drinking NeHi grape soda and eating Cheetos.
Hey don’t judge until you’ve
tried it. Muck the magic wiener dog
loved it.
There we were in the wilds of the Gila Mountains. Bare cliffs to the north of us and desert to
the south of us. My brother would tell
me to get down in the floor boards because there were Indians on the cliffs and
they loved to kidnap little girls with frizzy hair and buck teeth. I looked up to my big brother and believed
everything he told me. Well, almost
everything.
It was in those early days that I learned the Golden Rules
of Camping. Yes, there are RULES. There are rules for everything and
everyone. You don’t get a pass just
because you think you are special. Trust
me you’re not.
Let’s go over some of those rules and see if you are guilty
of these or if you are a happy camper.
The
standard you bring it in, you take it out.
Everything from the wrapper on your snickers to poop. Unless of course, facilities are provided. Nobody wants to be out trekking the wilds
only to come upon a big pile of your feces.
Novices to hiking will stand around with their guide books pontificating
about which animal left their scat under the elm tree. “It could be the Puma Concolor” Biff will
pose while Skip will argue that it is the Ursus Americana. Nope it will just be the old Americana
Dumbass.
2.
If camping in a camp ground be respectful of
your neighbor. Now see I believe this
goes back to that golden rule of life.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What I mean is don’t take up more space than
was allotted you. Don’t be noisy and
rambunctious after ten pm and don’t be that morning clatterer clanging pots and
pans before six in the morning. Be
respectful.
3.
Just because you are camping does not give you
or your children permission to act like fools. Kids
will be kids but teach your kids to respect themselves as well as others. Don’t trample through someone else’s camp
site. Don’t set up camp in the middle of
walk ways and or driving lanes. Yes, we
are all thrilled this is little Psummer’s with a silent P first camping trip
and that little Gailey, pronounced Hailey, just loves to play in the stream but
keep an eye on them for goodness sake.
No one wants to police your kids.
That is your job.
4.
If you have a large group camping together,
please for the love of all things holy, do not take over the whole camp
ground. There are other people there
trying to enjoy it too and may not want to be in the middle of your Corn Hole
game or listen to your Uncle Bill’s rounding rendition of Jail House Rock.
5.
Pets. Can
we talk about your pets? I love dogs,
cats, ferrets and birds of all flavors but if you can’t control your animal
then don’t bring it with you or at the very least keep it on a leash. I know you love Fluffy and could not stand to
be a minute away from the hairy little fuzz ball but remember Pete Puma loves
Fluffy too. Fluffy tastes just like
chicken. Also remember all animals do
not instantly get along. Dog fights are
unpleasant, a kitty being terrorized by Fido is awful and your ferret burrowing
into your neighbor’s camper is rude so keep your pet under control at all
times.
OK, I’m gonna stop preaching here
and leave you with a few thoughts. Some
people LIVE in their RV’s. It is their
home. They go from place to place
enjoying this wonderful country of ours.
Most of them are good at what they do.
They enjoy meeting new people and new faces. So, when you're camping and someone says Good
Morning or Good Afternoon, don’t be an ass.
Smile and return the greeting. It
will make you a better camper.