Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Just the Facts 2-15-2010




There are a million stories in the city.

Dum-dah-dum…dum-dah-de-dum-de-dum.

"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.")

The Flathead Beacon:

Police Blotter for the week ending 2-15-2010

A sampling of crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County Sheriff’s reports…by Heather Jurvis (comments by Gladys)



Wednesday 2/10/2010

6:13 a.m. A suspicious male subject in Whitefish was actually resting and didn’t need medical attention.

Gee officer I was just trying to take a nap.

2:03 p.m. Ten to fifteen tom turkeys went missing yesterday from a Bigfork home. The reporting party notes that someone in a truck recently drove by and made admiring comments about said turkeys.
What kind of admiring comment do you make about a turkey? “Hey dem turkey’s sure are fine. Looks at the breast on that one and woodoggies them legs!”

2:20 p.m. A local individual received a damage package purchased off Ebay and wanted authorities to look at it before he sent it back.

What exactly did he order that he needed the authorities to look at? What are they going to say? Yep that package is damaged, better send it back.

4:37 p.m. A customer at a Columbia Falls gas station allegedly stole $1,100 from the store.
Oh so he stole a pack of cigarettes and a tank of gas?

9:37 p.m. Someone noticed several individuals having a bonfire on the ice at McWenneger Slough and was concerned for their safety. Authorities determined that the fire would not burn through the ice.
Call me crazy but isn’t having a fire on frozen water a bad idea? What with the heat melting the frozen water thing?

Thursday 2/11/2010

9:13 a.m. According to a caller, a dog barks every day at the end of Memory Lane.
Sounds like he has a good memory, he remembers to bark.

2:03 p.m.  Reports of an electrical smell and smoke on Electric Avenue turned out to be unfounded.



5:12 p.m. An unruly and possibly delusional subject was taken to the hospital from a local denture studio.
Maybe he just wanted his teeth back


11:07 p.m. A concerned caller detected a gas odor in the living room of their Whitefish home.
Must have been beef and boiled cabbage night.


Friday 2/12/2010

12:38 p.m. A gas smell at the Whitefish public library turned out to be from a cleaning product.
It was really just left overs from the night before.

4:42 p.m. A juvenile male locked himself in the bathroom at his Columbia Falls home. The subject eventually emerged.
Hey didn’t the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition just come out?

6:31 p.m. Neighbors on Saddle Loop in Bigfork apparently cannot agree on the proper usage of outdoor lights.
I want them on! No I want them OFF!


Christmas Lights To Music - Carol of the Belles - For more amazing video clips, click here

2 comments:

Katherine Aucoin said...

I never get tired of these! The boy in the bathroom...and you with the Sports Illustrated...funny!

Brian Miller said...

oops yeah that gas odor...sorry. lol.