The waves crashed into the shore under a beautiful blue sky, the salt air sprayed gently on their faces as they settled in for a relaxing day on the beach. Then out of the mist came the monster (cue music from Jaws) …..the land shark was on the move and parked right next to them. Then she spent the whole day talking non-stop and ruining the peace and quiet of the day.
Kahuna and I packed up our towels and slathered on our sun screen and headed out to the beach last week. I spent the day trying to read a book but instead ended up eavesdropping instead.
Overheard on the beach… “Oh I would get a part time job but I can’t, they would take away my unemployment and disability check. ” and we wonder why we have trillions in debt.
Overheard on the beach…Dad to son “keep trying to surf and maybe you will actually be better at something than your brother.” Gee Dad way to instill self-worth and confidence.
Overheard on the beach man to wife “you know this beach was voted dirtiest in the Country.” Wife to husband “only because you come here.”
Overheard on beach: Old surfer to young one “we were going to call and tell you we were coming but we didn’t want you to come.” UH?
Overheard on the Beach: 40’ish man to young surfer “My electricity got shut off yesterday, my mom said I had to get a job cause she wasn’t going to pay it anymore.” Young surfer to 40’ish man “bummer, I hope my mom doesn’t do that.” Wow both these guys sound like dating material.
And so ends another episode of Overheard on the beach. Gotta go now, I have my towel and my bag...you never know it might be Gladys sitting beside you on the beach pretending to read War and Peace.
You know the woman in your neighborhood who knows everything going on? You know the relative who has all the recent gossip? You know the church member who knows who was at the bar the night before? That would be me, Gladys.
Bar Ditch = A ditch on the side of the road. Also know as a borrow ditch
Gussied Up - to dress in one's best clothes (usually fol. by up): to gussy up in your best Sunday go-to-meeting clothes.
Sigh-Reen = an implement used to give warning also known as Siren
Sumabeech= the son of a female dog
winder= an opening in the wall of a building, the side of a vehicle, etc., for the admission of air or light, or both, commonly fitted with a frame in which are set movable sashes containing panes of glass better known as a window
From my legal council over at Stealum, Robem and Screwum:
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