I've Gone To Pot

I haven’t been writing regularly and you know what that makes me? Irregular. I wonder if they make Metamucil for your brain. I feel backed-up. I feel a little woozy and wonky. I’m irritable and my breath may even stink. These are all the signs that I may need some mental milk of magnesia. I sit down to write, not just my blog, but anything and my head hurts, my eyes itch, my legs shake and I begin to get hives.

What has happened? Where did the river of rich ramblings go? Where they dammed up somewhere between my left brain and my right brain? Will it burst and there I’ll be standing in line at the big box store ready to pay for my 47000 pack of toilet paper and my 55 gallon drum of mustard pouring forth a profusion of dribble? Unsuspecting patrons will try desperately to get away from me but I will accost them with stories from my childhood or remembrances of long lost loves?

Sometimes it is just a matter of life getting in the way. You know like the garden needs weeding or the laundry folded. Sometimes it is a major meltdown which causes one to experience a blip in life. Sometimes it is that your brain takes a detour.

I recently saw the movie “Up”.

I love that movie with a passion. Yes I know it’s a kid’s movie. It is animated. I don’t care. I loved that the dogs could talk. I totally identified when all the dogs are standing there ready to attack and all of a sudden one of them yells “squirrel!” They all completely forget what they were doing and become obsessed with the squirrel. That is me. I do this all the time. One minute I’m diligently working on a project like spray painting some pots when I look down and see my toes. I think, I wonder what my toe nails would look like in bronze Krylon. The next thing you know I’m trying to invent spray paint for your toenails. ADD much?

I swear I haven’t always been like this. I mean I used to get up and go to work every morning at 6 a.m. I was like the army. I got more done before 7 a.m. than most people got done all day. Now I float from one task to another trying not to become too distracted. I will start one task only to be drawn to something completely unrelated. Oh don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining oh no! I am making excuses.

Yep, I am telling you my dog ate my homework. My brain swelled and I forgot to come to work. That is why I’ve been absent, because I have become absent minded. Well that and life has gotten in the way. This is the season of graduations, summer vacations, yard work and life. I will take a big old dose of castor oil, which leads me to ask what is a castor and why is it oily. There I go again, digressing. I will unblock my brain and be more diligent in my thoughts or at least in writing them down however coherent they may or may not be.

Now here are some reasons why I have been sidetracked

I've gone to pot.

Went to see the Gipper

Followed Matilda through the Oval Office

Only my family can go to the Reagan Library and be fascinated with vines

and hedges...

Hey LOOK Jelly Beans.  Um just a note here...they are to look at and you will be wrestled to the ground by federal marshalls. They will chase you as you try to pick out all the black ones and stuff them in your mouth as you run through the oval office and past Air Force One.  They really don't like it when you make them chase you across the south lawn and right over the Ronald Reagan Memorial.  I think it is considered bad decorum or something, not that I would do that.

Hey Ronnie!  Get UP!  I'm here to visit you and um, do you mind if I have a few jelly beans?