Thursday, December 31, 2009

In and Out The New Year

I just want to clear a few things up, this the last day of 2009. First of all after I posted yesterday Kahuna reminded me that many of you do not know what an In and Out Burger is. He slowly, as if speaking to a two year old, explained that many of you out there in the blogland have never had the pleasure of speaking InandOutese. You see in order to order a meal at In and Out Burger, did you just hear a choir of angels, you must know HOW to order.

Notice nowhere on the menu does it mention Animal Style?
It is a secret language.

Those of you who live in the land of fruits and nuts know the drill. You sidle up to the counter where a bright young person will say “may I take your order” to which you will respond “yes I would like a four by four animal style with extra animal sauce.” What will then ensue is a bevy of fresh young faces will scurry around a sparkling clean kitchen area and within seconds they will call your name. You will arrive at the pick up counter and sitting in a vat of thousand island dressing will be two, yes count them TWO, double double burgers with grilled onions and American cheese. What you ask is a double double? Well a double double is a burger with two patties dripping in sauce with American cheese.

Can I just take a moment here to ask what exactly IS American cheese? It states on the packaging that it is a cheese product. Now lard is a pork product that is actually just pig fat. Is American cheese the cheese fat? Why is it that color? Which leads me to ask what exactly is that dried cheese stuff that comes in boxes of macaroni and cheese and why do I love it so? Is it really crack with mustard colored food coloring? I digress, I know big surprise.

I am not the only person who has a special place in their hearts or should I say taste buds for In and Out burgers. I know I have an affliction and affection for them because my cholesterol levels are in the six digit figures and so is the size of my rear-end. Nay many of us left coasters love the bright yellow half arrow and the big red letters. We can nary scoot by one without our beloved vehicle pulling into the drive thru lane and without even thinking the words “four by four animal style” has passed our lips. This is obvious by the size of our residents. Yeah no longer is the rest of the country singing “I wish they all could be California girls..” because honestly have you SEEN California girls and guys lately. Um Yeah, tan doesn’t always make fat look better.

Many famous people talk about the In and Out experience. Recently Tom Hanks was on Conan O'Brian. He nashed on and on about In and Out actually bringing a catering truck to the set at three in the morning and the cast and crew stopping all production to get their animal style fix.

Then there are references to the In and Out love in television shows such as CSI when they solve a crime with an In and Out burger.

Two and a Half Men have featured the famous palm treed cup and red and white bag. Not to mention, although I am anyway, I believe I actually saw them flash a burger bag on Big Bang Theory. It is an addiction and an affliction of which I speak.

Oh I know what you are thinking, well Ms. Smartypants way out there in California, you have never tasted a White Castle, or Sonic, or What-a-burger. Oh but I have. I love each one for different reasons. I like White Castle for their sliders. Sonic because of the way they drip them in mustard and have the very best tasting drinks and you can sit in your car and eat them while your car hop skates by offering extra ketchup and mustard. I love What-a-burger because, well have you ever tasted their meat? I guess that I love the one I’m closest to when it comes to burgers. Honestly though nothing cures a hangover faster than a greasy hamburger and equally greasy fries. Nurse Meme taught me that one.

Secondly to round up 2009 I would like to thank each and every one of my faithful readers. You have been most supportive and encouraging. Thank you all for you kind words and helpful criticism.

Lastly remember this, if you drink don’t drive and if you drive don’t drink. Also remember to tip the waitstaff. Oh and if you have a hangover when you wake up tomorrow send someone out to get you a greasy hamburger and fries for breakfast.

Happy New Year Y’all!


VE said...

Well, my blog roll starts anew tomorrow. I'd be honored if you participate again in 2010. Leave a comment and you're on the blog roll! Thanks for visiting and commenting in 2009.

Kelley said...

Happy New Year, Gladys! Sending lots of good thoughts your way for a 2010 full of animal style double-double four ways or whatever they're called! They look good, I know that much!

AngelMay said...

Happy New Year, Gladys!

Anonymous said...
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Brian Miller said...

happy new year gladys! sad to say, no in and outs in my part of the world.