Thursday, March 3, 2011

Me and Charlie Need A 12 Step Program

It has happened. I never thought this would happen, especially not to me. I mean I always said it wouldn’t happen, no way, no how. I used to see people like I am now and be all righteous and pompous. I would say things like “look how ridiculous! They are making a fool of themselves.” Or I would think “they are just addicts. Look at them digging in trash bins and garbage piles just to get a fix.” Yes, I thought it would never happen to me, then…. I found someone named Craig and he ruined my life. I am addicted. I am addicted to junking. I spend hours upon hours with my new friend Craig. I need him like a fish needs water. I am so ashamed and well frankly aghast at myself.

I spend hour upon hour scrolling through the For Sale listings on Mr. Craig’s list. I am always amazed by the title of the postings. I wonder if people ever proof read what they have written. For example here are a few listings that caught my eye recently and yes I was insightful enough to copy and paste them.


What exactly is a couche? Is it like a cootchie and then would it be redundant to say couche and love seat? Hey! $100 bucks same as in town.

Feb 8 - Coffer table for sale

I know what a coffer dam is but a coffer table? Is it a table that holds back water?


Antique dest? What the heck is a dest?


I have no clue. Ask Craig maybe he can answer.

Antique Dresser 150! - $175

Ok is it 150 or a 175?

Feb 28 - @@@ Ejecutive Desk @@@ -

Is that so your boss can eject you out of your seat and onto the street?

Feb 23 - Solid WOod Rolling top desk! –

How do you write if your desktop keeps rolling? If you get 3 cherries does it spit out quarters?


Watch out it might be an ejecutive desk and you will get ejected while asleep.

I could go on forever but I can’t because Craig is calling me and I must see what he is trying to tempt me with today.  Besides,

"I have one speed, I have one gear. 'Go!'"
"Dying's for fools."
"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning."

"[A.A.] was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA."

"Can't is the cancer of happen."

I think Charlie has been dipping into the Tom Cruise Well of Whacky Water.


Ms Martyr said...

Gladys, I think you're okay as long as you limit yourself to reading the postings on Craigslist. Once you start actually buying stuff you might want to watch "Hoarders" for intervention.

Anonymous said...

Hello,my name is Meme. I am an ebayoholic. I am on step 9.
Glad to see you back.

Couture Allure Vintage Fashion said...

Gladys, I've missed you! Now I know where you've been. Welcome back!