Friday, August 21, 2009

Gladys Has Wandering Thoughts

Remember that song “The Wanderer”? Well that is what I am this week, The Wanderer only I’m don’t go from girl to girl, just town to town. Or perhaps more of a Gypsy.
Not Gypsy Rose Lee though. I mean it's hot and all but I'm not stripping.
Tadpole wants to know why it is women are so concerned about what their underwear look like while guys don’t care if they have a 4” skid mark and a torn waist band in their tighty whities? **************************************************************************
If you have ever eaten catfish then answer this.
Why is it you can eat 14 pieces of catfish that will taste just fine but as soon as you bite into that piece of mud cat you are done?


Why is it that I can go shopping with money to spend and not find a thing I want. The minute I’m broke and could not afford to pay attention much lest buy a new whosit for my whatsit I find everything in the world I simply MUST have right this very minute.

Speaking of shopping that leads me to my eaves dropping segment of the program. You see I visited Little Bitty City’s local Squal*Mart and I learned what I pretty much already suspected. People are the same everywhere. Like the woman who parks her cart sideways in the aisle. She blocks the entire aisle so that no one may pass. She is much like the rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She has huge fangs. I think I soiled myself. Either every store has one or two these people or I am being followed. Imagine being stalked by the aisle hog.

Aisle Hog to son: Johnny reach around over there and hand me up that Sue-Hav-EH (yes that is how she sounded out Suave) sharmpoo.
Son: MAW. I can’t reach it. It is too high up on the shelf.
Aisle Hog: Then just give me whatever you can reach.

Woman trying to pass Aisle Hog: Excuse me could you please move your cart out of the way.
Aisle Hog: I’m almost done here.
Woman: Well I just want to get by you and get a bottle of conditioner.
Aisle Hog: Can’t you just go round?

Little Girl Riding on Cart: Mommy why is that cart in the middle of the aisle?
Mom: Because some people are just rude and park in the middle of the aisle.
Little Girl: Oh like that lady there? (Pointing at the Aisle Hog) She’s RUDE?
Mom: Yes she is rude almost as rude as you for pointing at her

And now for some Random Pictures

It is once again Friday and Mrs. 4444 over at Half Past Kissing Time is hosting her Friday Fragments.

Ann Again and Again hosts VGNO on Fridays wander on over and have a Virtual Girls Night Out. She is on Vacay this week but still took time to host VGNO. So let's make up a big ole wash tub of Gladys' Vacay Punch:

1 cup Pineapple Vodka

9 cups water

4 Liptons Tea Bags

2 cups Sugar

1 can Frozen Orange Juice (thawed)

1 can Frozen Lemonade (thawed)

2 six packs 7up

Boil tea bags with two cups of the water. Set aside and let cool. Boil the remaining 7 cups of water with 2 cups of sugar. Bring to boil and remove from heat. Set aside and let cool to room temperature. Once sugar mixture is cool add the Orange Juice and the Lemonade. Add water from the tea and squeeze tea bags. Add Pinapple Vodka. Stir together and Freeze over night. Serve in a highball and top with about 2 oz. of 7up.
Makes 40 - 50 drinks

Now go have a good weekend and be good to one another. Oh and let me know what you did for the weekend.


The Texas Woman said...

I'm gonna catch up on your past posts next week. I've promised myself this treat and I don't break promises to other people maybe but not myself. Wanted to tell you that my M-I-L turns the word crisp into four syllables when she's ordering bacon. Schoolteachers!

Anonymous said... this where the Sexual Harrassment class is taking place? Am I in the right building?

A Green Friend of June's

Gladys said...

Texas Woman - Well get your butt on over here!

Hulk - Yes it is now please take a seat and I'll be with you momentarily. I just have to get my visual aides. Your homework is to watch the first and second seasons of Mad Men and do everything they do.

Pammerys said...

I absolutely love your blog!! Only wish I could be as creative and/or interesting. Keep on keepin on girl.

Caution/Lisa said...

What am I looking at in that last picture?

We went in a Walmart in every single state we visited this summer. Yes, the shoppers are all the same - with the exception this writer.

Gladys said...

Pammery - Thank you flattery will you everywhere.

Caution FLag - I have no idea what that last picture is. It was a potted plant sitting on a friend's porch and I snapped the picture. It's some type of Iris? The heat overtook it and it was Wilty McWilterson.

Native American Momma said...

I have been reading about these little girls pointing at things I think it is hilarious I can't wait until Monkey start talking and pointing. Happy VGNO

Unknown said...

OMG on the Aisle Hog. And sounding out Sauve. Real classy lady.

terri said...

Oh those aisle hogs are the worst! When I encounter them in the grocery store, I look around at other shoppers and announce, "She's new here!"

Gladys said...

Native American Momma -Your time is a comin. Like they say out of the mouths of babes. And I'm not talking about buxom blondes.

Kris - That one was a real peach. What with her wristlet snake tattoos that wound their way up her arms and met in a heart over her boobs.

Terri - Yeah she's new. She wakes up in a new world every day. One that revolves around her. I have gotten to were I just act like I don't see her and ram her cart.

Kristen said...

The way she said Suave, in my head it sounded a lot like a pig call. Was I close?

And I love that mom... Yes she is rude. That is so something I would {and have} done.

Shop with Me Mama said...

Happy VGNO! :)

Ed said...

I care what women in underwear look like. Send me some pics of some...I'll prove it!

Mrs4444 said...

Glady, you should take more photos-these are great!

I completely identify with that only-finding-perfect-stuff-when-you-don't-have-any-money thing.

Believe it or not, I have never in my life eaten catfish. Had some delicious perch last night, though!

Gladys said...

V.E.- Who would you like Heidi Klum?h

Mrs. 4's - WHAT you've never eaten catfish! Well what are you waiting for?