Today is Themed Thursday and the word of the day is Telephone. Yes that thing that has evolved from something that hung on the wall or sat on a hall table to the thing we cannot be without.
My dad, Trooper Bob, had a special way in which to handle these calls and still does. The following is an excerpt of one of my father’s conversations.
Salesman: Is this Mr. Bob?
TB: Yes and you are?
Salesman: This is Barney with Stealem and Robem Investments and I have a wonderful opportunity for you.
TB: Barney? Is that really you? Where the hell have you been? They told me you up and died. Died deader than a doornail. Heck I was at your funeral. Did you see me there?
Salesman: Um, I’m Barney Bunkem, Mr. Bob. I work for Stealem and Robem Investments. I am calling to tell you about a…
TB: (Who has now began wailing into the receiver) God damnit Barney I’m so happy to hear from you. Here I thought I was never gonna get to talk to you again. Man it’s so good to hear from you. There were so many things I wanted to tell you. Hey did you hear me when I leaned over your casket and told you my secrets? Man you’re not going to tell anyone are you?
Salesman: Cough. Um Mr. Bob I think you have me mistaken for…
TB: Oh Barney, stop joshing with me I would know your voice anywhere.
Salesman: heavy sigh then Mr. Bob I’m not who you think.
TB: Hey Barney remember the time that we put that cow shit in a bag and set it on fire on Old Mr. Ham’s porch. Then we rang the door bell and ran? I thought I would split a gut watching that old man stomp out that fire. Stomping cow shit all over the place. Man I learned some words that night. An remember the time…
Salesman: Mr. Bob, I am calling from…
TB: So have you ran into Mr. Ham? If you do would you apologize for me? I mean I am an old man now and would kinda like to go to heaven. You did end up in heaven didn’t you?
So you see the telephone my parents taught me can be a useful tool, a toy and a source of humor.
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