Monday, November 9, 2009

Whose Bad?

Remember I told you that we had taken the motor home to the desert for the week? Well we did. We arrived for a mid week stay in a very nice resort. Let me explain to you some things about motor home parks and places we have stayed. There are two types of motor home-ing we have participated in. The first is when we are on the move from one place to another and make quick on the road reservations. Here are the rules. You need to be where you are going to stay by five in the evening or chances are you are not going to get a spot. You can’t be too choosey where you stay. The criteria is pretty much if they have a spot that your rig fits in and you don’t have to squeeze between trees where you can’t kick you push-outs out or you have to back into and your front is sticking out in the middle of the street, you take it. The second type is long term stay.

Yes I said long term stay. We actually lived in our motor home for half the year last year in Montana. This time was different. We were going to a motor home resort.

What you might ask is a motor home resort? It is like staying at any resort. Tennis, golf, massages, club house and lots of retired senior citizens. Now if you read my blog last year then you would have read about some of the comings and goings at the Hidden Valley RV Park. You would have heard about Stanley and Stella and their tryst. You would have known about the group of physicians and attorneys who rode in on their Harley’s like the Hells Angels. You would have known about the guy who ran his sewer hose up instead of down and well that was just a shitty deal. What I’m saying is that it is akin to a neighborhood you just have new neighbors every other day. This week was no different it was just in a really nice neighborhood.

We arrived and found our allotted spot. Kahuna backed the coach in with the skill of a long haul trucker squeezing into a pickle park for the night. We hooked up, slid out and hunkered down in minutes and were set up for our stay. The evening was beautiful and we walked around the park taking in all the empty slots and quietness of the area. Well except for the trains going by every 15 minutes. Did I mention that the driving range backed up to the train tracks and our spot was right next to the driving range? There was also the buzz of the heavy duty electric wires. We admired the green grass and the little pond and listened to the heavy traffic sound coming off of the 10 interstate. We were ready for a relaxing week.

Night came fast and we settled in for a much needed rest. The coach was dark and we had both just drifted off into slumber when the coach began too shake. I jumped up thinking that finally the San Andreas had fractured and California was on its way into the Pacific Ocean. Kahuna too sat upright in bed and grabbed for the flashlight. We looked at one another then realized it wasn’t the big quake it was just a heavily burdened freight train struggling through the night. This went on all night. So much for peaceful relaxation.

The next morning Kahuna brought me coffee and we discussed the nocturnal activities of not only the rumbling freight trains and the whir of the traffic but we wondered if we would have some type of rare cancer from sleeping under the transmission lines. He then left for a meeting and I stayed to lounge away my day in relative peace. Then I heard loud voices. I looked out the window and saw two elderly gentlemen engaged in lively conversation. I figured, heck I’m out here with the octogenarians they are probably just hard of hearing. Which brings me to another point of R.V.-ing. Have you ever stopped to think that most of the R.V.-er’s are actually of advanced age?

These octogenarians with their slow responses, compromised hearing and diminished eyesight are driving rigs that are forty feet long and towing a car. They are traveling at high rates of speeds on busy highways and most R.V. parks are set up to either back into your spot or are in difficult areas to enter. Yeah I don’t think we have thought that whole thing through thoroughly. Now where was I? Oh yeah back to the two gentlemen having the lively conversation. I had to get something out of one of the lower bays so I was outside when I realized they weren’t having a discussion, they were arguing. Then one of the men grabbed the other one in a head lock and started dragging him around. I stood frozen. I watched amazed at the agility and dexterity of these men as they danced one way then the other.

Next thing I know a woman who looked like the See’s Chocolate lady comes charging out of one of the motor homes and pries them apart.

Another man comes to her aid and they finally separate the old geezers who still sling slurs at one another. Finally one gets into is Saturn and speeds away to his spot 3 rows over.

To think I was concerned about these guys fighting traffic.


Debby said...

Oh gees. I never thought of these things before. Thanks a lot Gladys. We live down the road from one of these 'park your RV' places. Now I'm afraid. I'm very afraid. They don't do much business in the winter, but I may have to move out before summer comes.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

That sounds like the makings of an absurd TV show. And who knew there were such elite RV parks out there?

Katherine Aucoin said...

I wonder if the show hosted by Bill Engvall, "My Mobile Home Disaaster" still comes on CMT.

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