Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dear Gladys

Remember Dear Abby and her really spiffy big hair and her sister Ann Landers who had equal spiffy big hair? People would write in and ask them for advice. Now let me ask you, where did they get to be experts and tell 'Lonely in St. Paul' to get out more? Neither of them were psychologist or even sociologist, they were just women who liked to hand out their own opinion. I mean honestly can you go to school and get a degree in advice giving? “Hello my name is Dr. Gladys and I’m an advice-ologist. Now take my advice and call me in a month and let me know how it is working out.” Oh wait that would be Dr. Laura.

I believe that I, Gladys, am as qualified if not more than either Ann or her twinkie sister Abby. I have so many more resources at my disposal than they did when they first began their advice column oh so many years ago. Not to mention I have really BIG hair. You know the higher the hair the closer to heaven. I have the ability to ‘Google’ or ‘tweet’ and I have the internet and the intranet and the space time continuum at my fingertips. I also have all these wonderful life experience with which I can pull from and share with each and every one of you who is troubled. Write me, you who are troubled by the heartbreak of psoriasis and the embarrassment of warts. Go ahead and ask those of you who are ‘lonely in St. Paul’ and ‘stuck in Wasilla’.

I am going to give each of you the chance to ask Gladys for advice. If you comment I’ll answer it. If no one comments then I’ll write this off as no one wants my excellent and wonderful advice. I will attack any problem.

Go ahead ‘Hurt in Hartford’ query your quandary. I’m waiting high hair and all.


Mrs4444 said...

Dear Gladys,
I have this friend who is addicted to reading blogs and poking around on the Internet. As a result, her house is a pigsty, and she has no money to pay for help. What should she do?

The Friend Who Isn't Addicted to the Internet and Has a Spotless House

Bob said...

Dear Gladys,
Is there anything to be done about runaway nose hair? If not, is there anything to be done with runaway nose hair?

Jaime said...

dear gladys:

i have no idea what to ask you...but when i come up with something, i'll let you know. :)