She's A Killer Queen

I got a call from my daddy, Trooper Bob, yesterday. He had to share a little story with me and now of course I’m going to share it with you. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is sacred in our family. If you do something funny we are going to laugh at you. Doe came into our family knowing that. She in fact experienced it at the hands of not only Trooper Bob but also my nephew Lughead Larry. Those two tease her mercilessly. Now that being declared you can read more about Doe here: Doe a Dear.
My crackberry beckoned me and I pushed the green button after checking the screen. Now on my crackberry when the name DADDY shows up I just know it’s going to be an interesting conversation. We talk several times a week and there is always a story or a funny. So I answer the phone and we chat about the weather and the stock market then he gets to the meat of the conversation.
“Hey baby girl I got to tell you a story” he begins and that is how I know it will be good. “We’ve been noticing a mess of spiders and bugs lately around the house. You know how they get bad during the spring and summer round here. Well not long ago Doe and I went over to the Home Depot and got one of them big pump up bottles of bug killer. Well I was workin out in the shop and Doe decided she was gonna spray around the house and get rid of some of those critters. I had been out in the shop for a couple of hours and when it got too hot I came in the back door. Now sittin inside next to the back door was one of them big pump up bottles of Round UP weed killer. I just figured that Doe had done some weed spraying up near the patio. Anyway I went in and got in my recliner when she came through the house pickin up and putting away. She was telling me that she had sprayed around the outside of the house for bugs and then had sprayed the inside of the house. I sat there a minute and then it dawned on me what she had done so I asked her what she had sprayed with the weed killer. She got that confused look on her face then it dawned on her too. She had killed weeds in the house not bugs.”
Now Doe is not senile nor is she even a little confused as a matter of fact she is on top of it. She keeps an immaculate house and everything has a place and is in it. So she was mortified that she had sprayed her house down with weed killer. She immediately grabbed her cleaning cloth and ran around wiping up everything she had just sprayed.
Doe don’t worry about it. Just think about it this way you won’t have any rag weed or dandelions pushing up through the plush carpet in your living room.