For the last couple of days I have had an itchy head. Not like a “hum, I’m thinking therefore I’ll scratch my head.” No it was one of those drive you crazy itchy heads. I thought to myself, self, you need some Head and Shoulders or perhaps some Selson Blue. So this morning I wash my hair with my normal shampoo.
My mind flew through the last several weeks, where had I been, what I had done, whose hairbrush had I used? I could think of nothing. I mean I hadn’t been in close contact with any homeless people. I hadn’t tried on any used hats or used any strange hairbrushes or combs. I hadn’t worn a turban belonging to a Pediculosis ridden Turkish prince. I could think of no where I would have picked up the little buggers. Then I thought of the beach. Maybe I got them from the beach. I immediately Googled lice and how you get them. I ran to Kahuna and said “Look at my head. Do I have lice?” He looked at me sighed really heavy and drug me into the sunlight. “I don’t know what head lice looks like.” I went into my Google laden informational and he picked little white flakes from my head. There we stood in the sunlight looking like a couple of monkeys. There we stood me being the contrite one while the grooming male picked the nits from my scalp. He plucked one from my scalp along with a couple of hair follicles and held it up in the light then he looked at my scalp some more. “Didn’t you get sunburned on your head a couple of days ago” he asked as he examined yet another flake. Then it dawned on me. The reason my head had itched and I was covered in a snow storm of dandruff was I was peeling. I was shedding the tender scalp which I had cooked to a crispy critter.
This brings me to my random thoughts:
Why don’t they make sunscreen for your head?
Why are the only people you see wearing fashionable hats these days either crazy homeless people or crazy gambling people at horse races?
Who was the first person who decided to roll up some leaves in another leave then set it afire?
Why do they call it quitting cold turkey? Why not quitting hot pastrami? Why not luke warm ham?
Now what are you doing this weekend? Come on you can tell me I’m not going to tell.