I may have mentioned this a time or twenty but I’m from Texas. I love Texas. Texas makes me happy with its wide open spaces, besides Houston, and its dry climate, excluding the whole eastern half of the state and its friendly people. Yes I love Texas. Kahuna on the other hand is a native born Californian. He is a surfer dude extraordinaire. That being said he actually was a Texafornian for a time in his life. Well sort of I mean he lived in Houston in the 1970’s and back in the 1970’s when the oil business was booming Houston was pretty much a melting pot.
On one of our trips back to the great state of Texas some years ago we ventured through some of the delightful back roads of Hill Country. We were unfortunately too late in the year to see the bountiful explosion of blue bonnets or the blessed budding of the Indian Paint Brush. We did however arrive in time to witness the billowing thunderheads of late summer as well as some of the dry lighting storms that pop up from time to time. We drove and chatted and drove some more. You see Texas is a very large state and we were basically going from one side to the other with a bit of a detour through Houston.
We began our trek early one morning and neither of us had our coffee except for that little bit of spit they give you in your little side of the road No-Tell Motel. You know the one I’m talking about? The one that has the coffee pot the size of a quarter and some really nasty tasting coffee in a package complete with that fake dried milk stuff and a wooden stick with which to try and get it to dissolve in your luke warm cup of brownish colored water? Yeah that’s the one. I’m sorry to report that it didn’t have a magic fingers bed but it did have some really great 1950’s soap called Cashmere Bouquet but I digress. So with eyes barely open we jumped in the car and headed up the road.
Kahuna knowing that I know EVERYTHING about Texas asked where we might find a diner, quick stop or God forbid a Bigbucks for a boost of caffeine. I thought a moment and searched my virtual vault of useless knowledge and said “I am almost nearly certain that there is a Bigbucks just up the road a ways.” Kahuna looked at me through heavy eyes and said “how far?”
I chirpily replied “just up the road, a ways.” We drove on, up the road, a ways. Then we drove on some more. We then drove some more. Kahuna looked around at the vast expanse of nothingness and cocked his head my way and asked again “how far?” I smiled my most beguiling smile which in reality came out looking more like a sneer and said “a ways. Just a ways more up the road”. Kahuna let out a long loud sigh and drove on. We passed scrub brush and rocky ledges. We passed scraggly herds of goats and abandoned farm houses. We passed fuel stations which were abandoned long, long ago. We saw nothing, nothing at all. We saw no Chevron station with an awaiting pot of coffee, or McDonalds with an egg McMuffin and a cup of Joe. We drove on for two hours we drove barely seeing another vehicle with the exception of an occasional farm truck or tractor. Once again Kahuna looked at me and raised an eyebrow in question. “It’s just up the road a ways. Just over yonder” I replied to his speculation.
Finally three hours later we arrived in a small berg with a service station, a feed store and a quick stop. Kahuna pulled the vehicle into the parking spot among the dirt laden pick-up trucks and stock trailers. He grabbed my extra large travel mug and started into the convenience store. He walked over to the coffee counter to an empty coffee pot. His shoulders sagged, his mouth turned into a frown and he turned to me and said “don’t tell me. There is another place just up the road a ways.”
Saturday at the Maul
15 hours ago