Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Night Nurse Meme Saved Trooper Bob's Bacon

Nurse Meme had a hard week in the E.R. and it was her last night on duty. She had delivered babies, sewed up stab wounds and set broken bones. She had walked the floors and tended to the infirm. She did all of this while taking care of three kids, a husband and a dog. She had worked 7 nights in a row without a break. She was exhausted and was glad this was the eve of her break.

Across town Trooper Bob was also working the night shift. He had busted up a couple of illegal crap games, served a couple of warrants and drank way too much coffee. He too had worked seven nights in a row. He was also in need of a day off. He had just found a quiet spot on the side of the road to wait out the rest of his shift.

A car came careening around the corner slid sideways like Evil Knievel down the road, righted itself then gunned the engine and sped away. Trooper Bob jumped into action and pulled out onto the highway. He turned on lights and siren, keyed the mike and said “I have a wreckless driver on highway 62. I’m in pursuit.” He pressed the big engine and caught up with the weaving vehicle. He flashed his lights, he honked his horn, he screamed his siren and the driver ignored him. The only thing left to do was to force him off the road. Trooper Bob lined his front bumper up with the back bumper of the speeding driver and tapped him. This sent the car into a spin and finally to a rest in the dirt along side the road. Trooper Bob stopped his car unsnapped his gun and ran flashlight in hand toward the vehicle. “PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL” he barked at the driver. The driver complied and Trooper Bob was able to get him out of the vehicle with no more incident.

“Sir, have you been drinking?” Trooper Bob asked the somewhat coherent driver. “No sir” replied the man. “Sir I’m going to ask you again how much have you had to drink?” Trooper Bob reiterated. “I haven’t drank a thing.” Replied Evil Knievel. “Would you be willing to submit to a blood test” Trooper Bob retorted. The man looked at him and said “Well sure I would. I ain’t drunk”

This was before breathalyzers and instant test the only way to tell for sure was a blood test. This meant that the person had to sign a consent form and then be transported to the nearest medical facility that had a lab. It just so happened that the nearest hospital was El Paso General.

Trooper Bob with the handcuffed and subdued Evil Knievel entered the emergency room and was met by none other than Nurse Meme. “What brings you to the emergency room, Trooper Bob” Nurse Meme asked. Trooper Bob smiled at his wife and said “Nurse Meme, I need a blood alcohol ran on this gentleman.” Nurse Meme asked for the consent form then showed the two men into a treatment room and th said “I’ll be right back with a kit. You just sit there on the table, sir.” Trooper Bob turned Evil around and removed the handcuffs to make it easier for the nurse to draw the blood.

Evil turned just as Trooper Bob removed the bracelets and took a swing at him. Trooper Bob ducked and moved in order to restrain him. Evil dodged the trooper then pushed him with all his might. He thought he was home free, now he could open the door and run out of the room. What he had not counted on was Nurse Meme opening the door to the exam room.
Nurse Meme had gone down the hall and retrieved a treatment tray. This was a long time ago and treatment trays were stainless steel and heavy. She gathered the glass syringes and the needles and vials needed for the blood alcohol test. She grabbed a dispenser of alcohol some gauze and some cotton balls. Then she headed down the hallway to draw blood and get through the rest of her shift. She made her way past the storage closet when she heard the scuffle. She waited a moment outside the door trying to assess what was happening. She opened the door just as Evil pushed Trooper Bob into the wall. Nurse Meme didn’t flinch, she didn’t think, she just reacted. She saw her opportunity and seized it. She wielded her treatment tray as if it were a baseball bat. Glass syringes, alcohol, gauze and needles went flying as the metal tray met cranium. Evil stopped dead in his tracks as the tray made contact with the side of his head and then he stumbled over the instrument stand and light. He fell on the floor out cold.

Trooper Bob looked at Nurse Meme with love and adoration. “That’s my wife!” he said as he put the cuffs on Evil. Nurse Meme helped get Evil to the table where he eventually came around. She looked at him and said “now are you going to let me draw your blood or am I going to have to hit you again?” Evil looked at her and then at Trooper Bob who smiled and said “next time she won’t go so easy on you. I know that for a fact. She’s got a mean swing with a frying pan too.” Evil looked from the trooper to the nurse and said “no ma’am I’ll do as you say. Jus please don’t hit me again.”

The Dynamic Duo


Katherine Aucoin said...

Nurse Meme is my hero! I bet you never gave her a bit of trouble di you Gladys?

Lucy said...

I loved this post. It was fun to read. And I wish I had been there to watch!

Staci said...

Nurse Meme sounds like somebody ya just don't wanta fool with, eh?!

Girly Stuff said...

Not the first time she'd swung a tray! Sounds like she got pretty good at it too!

terri said...

Nurse Meme was a force to be reckoned with! I bet not too many people messed with her.

Bob said...

Tray magnifique!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Yay Nurse Meme, showing that Evil what for!

gigi said...

I came over from Katherine's Smokey MT. I loved this story. Can I come back and visit some more?
Hi, I'm Gigi from 'Afterthoughts' nice to meet ya.
Happy Spring Friday!

Cher said...

The Dynamic Duo is right! Love it!

The Texas Woman