Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Younger Than Springtime Are We

The advent of spring brings out the sun worshippers in all of us. One fine spring day years ago Gladys and her friend, Ethel, were visiting Austin, Texas. They had gone to a seminar and had spent several days staring at spreadsheets and looking at over inflated financial statements of made-up companies. They were in need of some early spring-time fresh air.

They boarded their rental car and drove out of town toward Lake Travis. They had both heard of how beautiful Lake Travis was with its rocky shore line and clear water. They decided that a little drive around the lake to view the McMansions and scenery was just the ticket to revive them for the next day’s classes. They stopped at a local establishment and procured some adult beverages and some Slim Jims put the top down on the rental convertible and went on down the road.

It was a gorgeous day and Gladys and Ethel soaked up the sun the best they could. They slathered their face with sun screen and traded their big shoulder padded jackets and skirts for tank tops and shorts at the local discount store. They drove with the top down and the radio up. They talked about the latest diet, the book they had just read and the latest celebrity gossip. They talked about anything and everything but spreadsheets and financial statements.

They drove around Lake Travis admiring the large castles being built and the little old fish cabins that had stood for years. They drank down one whole six pack of adult libations and then started on another. Both ladies realized that before they could consume any more beverages they needed to relief their bladders. Up ahead they both spotted a sign that said “State Park”. They agreed that this would be a perfect place with which to make a powder room stop.

They were greeted at the gate by a Park Ranger who told them if all they were going to do was use the facilities then no fee would be charged. He also said he would be keeping an eye on the time. Gladys was about to burst as was Ethel. They located the bathroom facilities and both ran toward respite. It was a wonderful feeling as both women met in front of the sinks. They were ready for another round and some more sight seeing. They talked about taking a quick walk down to the water. They fluffed their hair applied their lip gloss and walked out the door. There in front of the women stood a man. A totally nude man. A totally nude OLD man. A totally nude old man with his manly parts hanging so low they were in danger of dragging the ground. Gladys was stupefied and speechless. Do you know how hard it is to render Gladys speechless? Ethel looked at the man then looked at the ground and snorted back a giggle. Gladys looked at Ethel incredulous to the sight in front of her. The man smiled and said “Beautiful day isn’t it?” then went upon his way carrying his ice chest and bamboo mat. Ethel still giggling like a 12 year old boy said “Was he Nek-kid?” Gladys stood slack jawed and frozen.

Ethel grabbed Gladys by the hand and tugged her toward the car. Gladys turned to look back over her shoulder. Unfortunately God had not warned her like he did Lot’s wife. No one warned Gladys, not even her friend. She turned just in time to see an elderly couple walking down the walk toward the crystal clear cool water completely and totally sans clothes. Gladys grabbed Ethel by the shoulders in front of the park ranger’s hut and said “What KIND of state park is this?” Then a deep voice behind her snickered and said “Lady this is Hippie Hollow. Haven’t you ever heard of Hippie Hollow?” Well sure everyone in Texas has heard of Hippie Hollow. It was a beach on Lake Travis where the college kids and local hippies had deemed clothing optional back in the days of flower power and Woodstock but how many knew it was a State Park? What’s more who knew it was a state park with a bunch of aging naked hippies?

Ethel and I got back in the car and each grabbed a drink. Gladys looked at Ethel and said “I knew there was spring break for the college kids but who knew AARP sponsored spring break for aging hippies too?”


Debbie said...

Oh my word! They really should post large signs every few feet. You could have lost your lunches:)

Katherine Aucoin said...

Oh my, thank goodness you two had partaken of adult beverages beforehand otherwise who Debbie wrote, you have tossed your lunch.

Cher said...

Body parts almost dragging the ground? I assume you mean his knuckles!

Keep Austin weird! That's our motto!

The Texas Woman

Tatersmama said...

I'm ROFLAMO here!