Help Me Mr. Obama

I am so glad that we have a new president who has promised to take care of me. Why I even saw a woman interviewed on CNN who said that she wasn’t worried about making her house payment or her car payment anymore because Mr. Obama was going to do those things for her. She stated that in his acceptance speech at the democratic convention he told her that he would make sure her payments were made. I am glad that he is because I have often wondered who will do it for me when they ship me off to the funny farm. You see I for one am all for a revamping of our government and many of the systems we have in place. I am also all for a revamping of our healthcare reporting system. Did you know now days your healthcare reporting is much like your credit score? Doctors and healthcare providers can now cause you to have a lower health credit rating by erroneously entering the wrong diagnosis code.

But back to me because that is what is really about. So it seems I went to sleep one night and woke up the next morning a dwarf tubercular boy with a re-grown uterus with a prune belly. Are you sitting there saying WHAT? I know but you need to take care and use plenty of Germ X because you might come down with this too.

The real story here is my health insurance was up for renewal which means you have to give them permission to pull your medical records or they will cancel you. When they pulled mine they denied me anyway. Here are the reasons they gave me. We regret that we can no longer cover you due to your medical history. It seems that I have a bunch of things wrong with me of which I was not aware. The strange things they listed were Pituitary dwarfism, tuberculosis, and endometriosis and prune belly to name a few.

Let’s take these things one at a time and see just what they are.

Pituitary dwarfism:
“Dwarfism is a condition in which the growth of the individual is very slow or delayed. There are many forms of dwarfism. The word pituitary is in reference to the pituitary gland in the body. This gland regulates certain chemicals (hormones) in the body. Therefore, pituitary dwarfism is decreased bodily growth due to hormonal problems. The end result is a proportionate little person, because the height as well as the growth of all other structures of the individual are decreased.”

I know I’m not tall, but I’m not a dwarf. This is also something you don’t just come down with overnight. It’s not like you say “Honey, I’m not feeling too good. I think I’m coming down with dwarfism”. This is something that would have been diagnosed oh, let’s say, about the time I was born.

Tuberculosis:
Tuberculosis (TB) is a bacterial infection caused by a germ called Mycobacterium tuberculosis. The bacteria usually attack the lungs, but they can also damage other parts of the body. TB spreads through the air when a person with TB of the lungs or throat coughs, sneezes or talks. If you have been exposed, you should go to your doctor for tests. You are more likely to get TB if you have a weak immune system.

I have had the flu and coughed for a couple of days but honestly, I don’t think it’s TB. I mean I’ve had the test and the chest xrays. You would think if they diagnosed this they would have at least given me some antibiotics for it. Nope never been treated for it.

Endometriosis:
The word "endometriosis" (say: "end-oh-me-tree-oh-sis") means a problem with the lining of the uterus. The lining is called the endometrium. Normally, every month when you have your period, the lining (which is also called endometrial tissue) comes out in your menstrual flow.

This one “could” be possible if I grew my uterus back that they took out 20 years ago.

And finally

Prune Belly (It REALLY is a diagnosis)
Prune belly syndrome is a rare birth defect affecting about 1 in 30,000 births. About 96% of those affected are male. Prune belly syndrome is a congential disorder of the urniary system, characterized by a triad of symptoms.

I know I need to do some sit-ups and some crunches but my belly isn't exactly pruned.
Now the last time I checked I was a female and again, was not diagnosed with this at birth or anytime following.


I guess that somewhere along the way I sat on that proverbial unprotected toilet seat that our mother’s warned us not to and became a dwarf tubercular boy with a re-grown uterus with a prune belly.

It has been over a year now and I still have no health insurance. Why? Because the doctor’s who have erroneously reported these diseases refuse for liability reasons to correct their diagnosis. So please Mr. Obama, you do not have to pay my mortgage or my car payment. You don’t even have to put a chicken in my pot or a car in my garage. All I am asking is would you please just revamp the way the insurance companies rate your viability?


Could someone please call the National Enquirer because I feel a headline coming on.