Hoodwinked, Bamboozled and Buffaloed!

Kahuna woke me Saturday morning with the promise of an adventure and a chance to take pictures I was excited. Usually I just ride around with my camera and yell “STOP” when I want to take pictures. I have gotten some wonderful shots this way. Someday I’m going to shell out the money and get Photoshop so I can process my pictures. Until then they will just have to be what I compose in my camera.

Kahuna tells me to get ready and me being the ever obedient wife went and dressed in my cute jeans with an even cuter T-shirt and my favorite hiking boots. You see I’m not athletic or even outdoorsy but if I dress like I am then I feel like I am. It’s like I’ve been telling you people it’s all perception. I gather my camera and my gear and head out to the SUV. “Honey, we are going to take the Green Hornet today” Kahuna instructed. The Green Hornet is an old forestry truck that is his ‘work’ truck. It is rough and rugged and has four wheel drive. Oh goody I thought as I climbed in the seat next to him, we must be going into the rough. Maybe I can get a picture of a mountain lion or a bear. This of course would be done from the comfort and safety of the cab of the Green Hornet.

We left our humble abode and headed towards what I was thinking would be the mountain. Instead he pulled up in front of The Building and backed up to what I call the debris trailer. It is really just a little trailer he pulls behind his truck with which he hauls construction materials. This isn’t his job nor is it even anything that he remotely gets paid to do; he in fact actually pays people to do this. He just can’t sit still on a job and do paperwork. He is a hands on type guy. He attached the trailer to the truck leaving me a bit confused. I didn’t really think about it though since he sometimes just has to move it to a different spot. He does this so that it is easier for the workers to retrieve or get rid of material.

He jumped in the seat and looked at me and said “Are you ready?” Well of course I was ready. I had on my cute little hiking boots and my stylish shirt and my very best jeans of course I was ready. He fired up the Green Hornet and drove off down the road. I sat fiddling with the settings on my camera preparing myself for whatever might catch my eye. He turned off the main thoroughfare onto a road which we had never been down before. My interest piqued and I readied my camera. Then I saw it the first signs of our adventure.

We had arrived, not as I had imagined into the wild but at the dump. Yes this was my adventure.

We drove up the ever growing mountain of garbage and into the vast wilderness of trash. I was amazed at the number of people who like us had decided to visit the receptacle of waste.

We left the dump then headed back to the job site to drop off the trailer. Here again I thought was when my adventure would begin. Once again I was tricked. I was fooled. Upon arrival at the construction site Kahuna hoodwinked me. He had buffaloed me into thinking this was an excursion when in truth it was work. I was appalled. Doesn’t he know I’m the Queen of Slackassedness? Doesn’t he know that my job is to loll about looking cute? How did he do this you ask? He asked my opinion on planting the eleventy billion plants he had purchased for landscape.

He opened my door and helped me out of the truck. He walked me to the barren area around the building and said “What do you think we should place here?” Now I have to admit I am horrible at growing things. My plants will be completely healthy one day and the next they will wither and die. My only savior is that the rabbits eat them before they die. I had a beautiful pot full of herbs. They had actually begun to grow. I went to bed and the next morning there was nothing left, not even nubs. The jack rabbits had eaten everything except for the pot. I digress.

Nurse Meme was a wonderful gardener and I often would spend hours in her garden digging briars and planting plants. This in no way made me an expert but it did give me some knowledge of how to plant plants just not how to keep them alive. I began picking up plants and placing them according to their need of sunshine and the aesthetic appeal. I did this for seven hours. I also got down in the dirt and set them in the holes which Kahuna had dug as I had placed the plants. Thank God the sun finally set and we were forced to go home and clean up.

That was my big adventure. I came home covered in mud and sore from head to toe.

I feel like I just spent 6 weeks at the Biggest Loser’s weight loss camp. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go catch up on my lolling about before Kahuna comes and takes me on another adventure.