"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.")
The Flathead Beacon:
Police Blotter for the week ending 2-13-09
A sampling of crime briefs from the Kalispell Police and Flathead County Sheriff’s reports…Julius Macker (comments by Gladys)
**Last week I erroneously stated that Jake Grilley was the Beacons first and only intern. Mr. Macker corrected that in the comments section. Thank You! Oh and Thank you for reading my blog. Oh and Mr. Macker thank you for the great job you do.**
12:17 a.m. Beach Road in Bigfork is OK.
I feel safe don’t you feel safe?
A couple of what? Doors? Beers?
Once again crime fighting at it’s best!
Lady: Officer a man threatened me.
Officer: Yes, ma’am can you give me the details.
Officer: Ok, HOW did he threaten me.
Lady: I don’t know
Officer: Did you accost you on the street with a knife?
Lady: I don’t know.
Officer: Did he threaten you by phone?
Lady: shrugs her shoulders
Officer: Did you send you a threatening letter?
Lady: Looks around then looks at her feet and mumbles “I don’t know.”
Officer: Lady just HOW were you threatened?
Lady: I don’t know.
Officer: Walks to his patrol car and bangs his head on the hood
Huh? Does that mean the flasher had a really teeny weenie?
Well THAT’s a shocker!
3:07 p.m. Two female siblings had nasty things to say to each other. So they did it over the telephone.
Again I feel safe.
8:43 a.m. A woman said that an abusive telemarketer threatened to “come blow her head off.” It’s not clear what the man was selling.
Maybe he was selling guns.
12:09 p.m. Smoke was billowing from the Lazy Day trailer court. Sheriff Mike Meehan said, “it looked like a pretty good fire.”
Did he bring the marshmellows cause I have the chocolate bars and graham crackers
Now how are we supposed to know everything is alright on Beach Road if you block his correspondence?
Really? Kmart? I mean if your going to chance getting busted you couldn’t go to the MAC counter?
10:44 a.m. There was an angry but non-violent youth in Bigfork.
Was he on Beach Road?
Wow he must have some really big pimples!
Well when you steal acne medicine you park in the handicap space so you can have a quick get-a-way
El Rancho….speaking Spanish…. Maybe he thought he was home.
1:59 a.m. A person said that "after a big fight” their tire was slashed. Upon investigation, however, it turned out that a rock was in fact the culprit.
Hey let me tell you, I’ve gotten in fights with rocks before and they always win!
Elsewhere? Like Where Stalkers Anonymous?
Wow he must have been hungry. I mean to eat a whole horse.
You can do that? Just not pay and leave? I one time had a $200 parking bill at an airport. They wouldn’t let me out until I paid it.
Evidently he wanted to KEEP his $400.00
Dragnet quote for the week:
Joe Friday: Ma'am, what is the approximate dry weight of the average Madagascan fruit tree bat?
Pep Streebeck: You mean you don't know?
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