1. I just finished watching the movie The Queen. In that movie everywhere where she goes she carries a handbag. What do you think the Queen carries around in that pocketbook? A coin purse just in case she wishes to buy a diet Coke? Tampons? Maybe she keeps pictures of her Corgies in there and she pulls them out at state meetings and says “Oh my, have you ever seen my puppies?” She’s the Queen for Cripes sake. I mean can’t she just snap her fingers or wiggle her nose or something and get whatever she wants?
2. Why do people respond to something you tell them with “Is that so?”. Yes it’s so, if it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t have told it to you. Do you want me to respond “No it’s not so.” It is what it is. Why do you ask if it’s so? So what? So true? So much? So little?
3. Why does your hot water heater go out when you are on vacation? Or just arriving home from a vacation where you have just spent your entire budget. Or when you are preparing to leave for the airport to catch your around the world cruise you have planned for your entire working life?
4. Why is it when you have a new born they wait until you have on your good clothes to throw-up on you? Do they know you have on your best cashmere sweater that cost $2000 to have dry cleaned at the special non-chemical environmentally safe cleaners?
5. How do dogs know you are getting ready to go to church, or a wedding or a special occasion? They must know because that is when they rush up to you with their muddy paws and nose from digging gophers to give you goodbye kisses all over your cream colored designer outfit. Do you think they say to one another “hey look she’s got on her cream colored Christian Dior Satin Sheath Dress it would look so much better with a big brownish red paw mark right on the left breast.
6. Why is it you can never find anything good to eat in a full pantry but when the larder is empty you know exactly what you want?