Monday, February 16, 2009

The Extraordinary Correspondence of Gladys and Furong

Several years ago I read a series of three books called The Extraordinary Correspondence of Griffin and Sabine. It was about a man and woman who corresponded over time. Sabine and Griffin mysteriously corresponded through something of a time warp. Over the course of the trilogy of books they tried to meet up but for some cosmic reason they never could. It was a collection of beautiful letters between a Postcard designer in London and a stamp designer in the South Pacific. The writing was quite beautiful and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Then I started thinking about this email I received.

~~Re: urgent- email
Dear friend,
I have a business deal in my bank value at 21.5Million us dollars, as a foreigner l can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there is no written name for the inheritance l am Mr Zhang Furong an Executive director working with Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC),I would provide you with all the necessary documents to lay claims and also I would avail you with the modalities we shall follow once I hear from you. If you are interested, kindly get back to me with your full contact information's and phone number via my private email or call me Upon your response l will give you more details about this transaction, if not interested you can delete this mail.
Regards,Mr Zhang Furong

What if I were to start an Extraordinary Correspondence with Mr. Zhang Furong. How would it go? I mean the art of letter writing is almost lost what with emoticons and text talk. I’m thinking it would be something like this.

Yo Homie,
Wasup? So you be in Chinette? That’s cool! So you got some bling and you need me to hold it for you til you can get it here for yourself? Fo shizzle? No problems J I will gladly take your $$$ and mke it iron clad. I am like all Wow here that you wld contact me. Did you find me on Facebook? Myspace? Twitter? I googled your name and this is what I found.

“Furong Zhang serves as Vice President of Banking Accounting Society of China and Deputy Director of Financial Planning Standards Council of China. Mr. Zhang served as the Vice President of Industrial and Commercial Bank of China Ltd. since October 2005. Mr. Zhang joined Industrial and Commercial Bank of China in 1984. He served in several positions at ICBC including Vice President of ICBC Liaoning Branch, President of ICBC Dalian Branch, Assistant to President of ICBC
So, like, I know your legit, cause if it's on the internet it real.
I told my friends on Facebook about you and they are all like, ROFL and shit. I think your cool and won’t be deleting you from my lists of friends.
So like let me know wht you be needing and shit. K?

Do you think I could get my correspondence bound and printed? Do you think hundreds of thousands would rush out and buy my book of emails between me and the mysterious Mr. Furong?


The Texas Woman said...

Well, I've read worse published garbage! Especially from celebrities who think they know more than the rest of us just because they're famous!

The Texas Woman

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking movie -- Jackie Chan -- Academy Award winner. You're on a roll here. I want an autographed copy of the script and a walk-on part!

Anna Lefler said...

I smell a sequel!

Or, I smell *something*, at least. Whatever it is.

[tee hee]

:^) Anna

Anonymous said...

Hey! Your correspondence looks like some of my texts to my kids!

Yo Yo Yo... Mama is in the car crib. Git your bootay out of book jail so we can git on to the hizzle... fo shizzle... I need to wizzle.

The first thing my son says to me when he opens the car door is...

You are a freak.

babbler said...

Dear Gladys, Mrs. Slug has received the same email about 6 months ago, and tried to engage this individual into some kind of correspondance. They just kept writing me back that they wanted my phone numbers and bank information as soon as possible. It was a very entertaining dance until I realized that I was probably flirting with a dangerous virus or email "tapping" was fun while it lasted, fo shizzle!

United Studies said...

Fo shizzle! Or something like that. I often wonder who responds to those emails...

Katherine Roberts Aucoin said...

I would love if you actually sent this so we could see what this con artist's reply is. You can put a fun twist on anything.

Sornie said...

I've actually started an e-mail correspondence with frauds like that guy just to see where it went. They eventually get rather pissed after you lead them along then call them on their crap. I do like the book idea, though, It would be ripe with comedy!

Ed said...

Oh man, I laughed. I'm sure you'll get some emoticons back in the next correspondence!