Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Let's Get It On

**Today's post will have visual aides with explainations to help my daddy understand it. You see he has aides. Hearing aides, Rol-aides etc..."
I am going to make a confession. Gladys is a technophobe. All things technical scare me. While I’m being honest most things electrical scare me. I’m not really sure why this is other than the fact that I have had my share of techno-incidents go here and read about my beloved Bertha getting V.D. What started this was Kahuna’s Christmas present. I purchased an IPod Nano for Kahuna for Christmas. He is not afraid of electronics but does get highly frustrated with them.
I decided to download some audio books on Kahuna’s Nano for his upcoming trip in the hurling vessel of death. I spent a good part of my evening downloading or uploading or whatever you call it his device with all kinds of fun music and educational information. It all worked like a charm and I truly felt I had mastered my fear of electronic devices. I in fact lorded my knowledge over Kahuna and gave him a short tutorial of how his new best friend operated. Now keep in mind, I do not have an IPod of my own nor have I have had one. So what the heck do I know?

**Daddy this is a Nano. It is an IPod and holds music, audio books and pictures. Some even have the ability to play movies. Although you would have to get your magnifying glasses out in order to watch them. You stick ear buds in your ears to listen to it. Ear-buds are sort of like the old headphones only much smaller and fit inside your ear like your hearing aides you don't wear.**

This morning I was helping Kahuna pack his things into the ginormous blue backpack and pulled out the IPod to go over the operation again. You know something of a refresher course. I hit the menu button and nothing happens. I started pushing this button and prodding that button in hopes that the little light would come on and give me a menu. Nothing happened. I frantically started rolling my finger around on the wheel. Still nothing happened. Kahuna ever helpful asked “What did you do to it?” I thought for a moment and replied “I don’t know maybe I forgot to eject it before I disconnected it.” As far as Kahuna knew I had just solved all the world’s problems but I was just pulling stuff out of my I mean head. I plugged it back into the computer and now the computer didn’t even recognize the Nano when just hours before they were intimate. They were exchanging computer-like-spit. They were interacting and reacting and having a discourse of computer intercourse. What was this some type of technology booty call? Bertha and Nano plugged in for a one night stand only? Where they just one time bit buddies?

**Daddy, A bit is a binary digit, taking a value of either 0 or 1. Binary digits are a basic unit of information storage and communication in digital computing and digital information theory. Information theory also often uses the natural digit...**

I plugged and unplugged. I matched up cord to port I plugged male into female and still nothing. Finally in my frustration I reached deep into my virtual vault of useless knowledge and remembered somewhere in the deep recess of the original Nano box and pulled out the directions. Now I know most of you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of reading the directions, but I was desperate. I read the directions and went through what I thought was the reset procedure. Again nothing happened. I got up and walked around the room chewed my fingernails and huffed and puffed and cussed unfortunately that didn’t help turn the Nano on. I sat down and Googled tech support for the Nano. I read and read and read some more I asked questions of the on-line support and still no answers.

** Daddy, Directions are defined as: Usually, directions. instruction or guidance for making, using, etc.: directions for baking a cake**

I finally took the Nano and turned it over in my hand and low and behold the angels sang and the trumpets blared. I saw a little switch at the top of Nano. Cautiously and with great trepidation my finger traveled over the switch. It was tiny just the size of the head of a straight pin. I took my almost non-existent chewed to the nub from frustration fingernail and flipped this tee-tiny switch. Ta-DAH! The light came on the Menu appeared and I was able to operate Nano.

So I guess that Bertha and Nano were not just a one night stand. I surmised that Nano was just on hold or not in the mood so to say. Nano was now ready to be inserted into Bertha and begin another round of data swapping. What do you ask was I downloading? Marvin Gay's"Let's Get It On" of course.

** Daddy, Marvin Pentz Gay, Jr.,[1] better known by his stage name Marvin Gaye (April 2, 1939 – April 1, 1984) was an American singer-songwriter and instrumentalist with a three-octave vocal range.[2] Starting as a member of the doo-wop group The Moonglows in the late fifties, he ventured into a solo career after the group disbanded in 1960 signing with the Tamla subsidiary of Motown Records. After a year as a session drummer, Gaye ranked as the label's top-selling solo artist during the sixties


Girly Stuff said...

The hold button has messed with my head before as well.

I say you need a kindle.

Toad said...

Who the h knew it had an on off switch? I threw mine away several weeks ago when I couldn't make it sing to my tune.

Girly Stuff said...

You need one of those indoor herb grower thingys. It reminds me of something from Tomorrowland.

Jaime said...

i'm so lucky that hubby is good with all things techy - because i did the exact same thing with my nano!

rachaelgking said...

FanTAStic song. By the same token, if your nano ever gets frozen, you can "reboot" it by holding down the center button and the top of the circle at the same time, for about 30 seconds.

Thank you so much for your kind words yesterday. I really needed them.


Katherine Roberts Aucoin said...

The same thing happened with my daughter's I-pod and it took hours as well and with the help of the directions, we finally figured it out.

The Texas Woman said...

You had me at "hurling vessel of death!" Your mind should be willed to science to see if they can find out where you came up with this stuff! Funny lady!

The Texas Woman

Anonymous said...

Glad I'm not alone on the iPod thing -- took me forever to figure it out. It's so small sometimes I put it down and then lose it. I miss my Walkman...

Queen Goob said...

I'm still trying to figure out how to use my eight-track tape player. I bought an orange thing-a-ma-bob for Spawnette for Christmas - told her if I ever saw it, heard it, or found it laying around it was mine to do with what I wish.

Glad I know hwo to turn the damn thing on now, it's been in my purse for a month and a half.

Queen Goob said...

p.s. I hope you can outrun your dad - that was funny!

Remember the pictures I posted of my mother? She still doesn't know.

Anonymous said...

Those darn on/off switches will get you every time... :)

Beth Kephart said...

I walk about in others' shadows, hoping they will pre-answer all techno problems before they stare me and my techno inadequacy in the face.

I'm glad that you were finally left singing. Thanks for stopping by my own blog today, and for your kind comment.