Thursday, February 12, 2009

Survey Says

Last night I got an email from my sister. She sent me one of those e-mail surveys only she didn’t change the answers. I dutifully answered. I told you before I follow instructions very well. I also sent it out to everybody on my e-mail list, all 5 of you. I really didn’t expect anyone to answer but guess what? They did. I got one from my friend LM and one from my sister, I got one from Taddy and then I got one from my Quirky Cousin. Hers was by far my favorite. So here is the survey with her answers.

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends. Change all the
answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including
the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of
little things about your friends that you might not have known!

1. What time did you get up this morning? uh...when my eyes opened..have no clue

2. Diamonds or pearls? okay, but you got one of those edible candy necklaces in there? Cause I always did like those the best

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? cinema? If you mean picture show, then that would be the last Harry Potter movie.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Boston Legal

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? breakfast? *eyes McDonald sack sitting on desk*

6. What is your middle name? Sue "And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him Bill or George! Anything but sue! I still hate that name!" Johnny Cash

7. What food do you dislike? I have no idea what this question means

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? well, as a rule I am not fond of compulsive disorders, but if I have to say then I guess my favorite would have to be the one where you count your steps out the door *runs back home to count the steps from the door to the car*
Although the one where you think you left the stove on is fun too. *runs back home for a second time to make sure all appliances are turned off*

9. What kind of car do you drive? okay now this is just a trick question, cause I don' think an SUV is offically a car. Damn I hate trick questions

10. Favorite sandwich? at this time : *seeing no sandwiches at this time on her desk from which to choose a favorite, surmises this to be another trick question and refuses to answer*

11. What characteristic do you despise? the one that causes people to send out trick questions to all of their friends , thereby confounding them in a myriad of ways and thus ruining their day

12. Favorite item of clothing? oh good an easy one! The one that covers anything on my body that might cause the man on the street to curl up in balls of laughter

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? vacation?
a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity
OH, yeah here

14. Where would you retire to?
re⋅tire   1.
to withdraw, or go away or apart, to a place of privacy, shelter, or seclusion

15.. What was your most recent memorable birthday? no comment

16. Furthest place you are sending this questionnaire? *looks at send button* About 6 inches

17. Person you expect to send it back first . 'Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed'

18. When is your birthday? 4-06-**

19. Morning person or a night person? okay I think I know where this is going and so I will answer a night person..however that should in no way be considered as my having abandoned any future claims on being a person during all hours. Otherwise, I refuse to answer.

20. What is your shoe size? you have got to be fucking kidding me!??!!

21. Pets? no, thank you

22. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? First of all, I want to know how many of "us" are out there.

23. What did you want to be when you were little? little......duh

24. How are you today? fine, you?

25. What is your favorite flower? *notes that sender put "roses" and realizes she can't even follow her own instructions. Since when did a flower become plural?....realizes this may be another trick question*

26. What are you listening to right now? NPR, National Public Radio....not to be confused with the National Pro Rodeo association

27. The last thing you ate? *stares at empty McDonald bag and tries to remember what was in it a few minutes ago*

28. Do you wish on stars? I try not to bother the Hollywood people too much, they have enough on their hands with the papparazzi

29. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? that ocre one always piqued my interest in the big box of crayons

30. How is the weather right now? I don't know..but I will be happy to ask it and see what it says

31. Favorite soft drink? I prefer the hard drink myself

32. Favorite restaurant? the ones that serve food

33. Hair color? yes, thank gray is showing again. When do you have time to do it? My place or yours?

34. What was your favorite toy as a child? mud

35. Summer or winter? I think we are officially in winter now, although that solstice thing always seems to slip right past me. We could ask the closest Druid clan, I am sure they would know. Pardon me for not being able to give you a sufficient answer.

36. Chocolate or Vanilla? oooh yes..unless we are speaking clothing, then I do believe that chocolate is the new black and that a non virgin bride should always wear vanilla.....*realizes her own wedding dress was not white* Can I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it might incriminate me?

37. Coffee or tea? Tea, thank you. Will there be scones with that? and I like a bit of honey with mine, if you don't mind.
*waits patiently to be served*

38. Do you want your friends to email you back? friends?

39. When was the last time you cried? *wipes tears from keyboard and keeps typing* I don't remember the last time I cried. *lies*

40. What is under your bed? MONSTERS!!!!! okay got me...dust bunnies

41. What did you do last night? Watched Boston Legal

42. What are you afraid of? emails with trick questions

43. Salty or sweet? *frikkin trick question*

44. How many keys on your key ring? is this answer going to be used to steal my identity?

45. How many years at your current job? omg, is this a JOB????? I thought I was being paid to chat

46. Favorite day of the week? the first one.......wait, the last one!

47. Do you make friends easily? friends?

48. How many people will you send this to? ROFL

49. How many will respond? ROFL

50. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? Friends?

*still waiting patiently for her cup of tea*


Beth said...

Love your answers - unique and funny!

Anonymous said...

I do not thing that you really answered ANY of those questions...not one!